1
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:25,230
You look like you need another.

2
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:28,107
- What are you, psychic?
- Look deep into my eyes.

3
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:32,612
Yeah. You're feeling very thirsty.

4
00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:34,197
Oh, you are very good.

5
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,365
And...

6
00:02:36,825 --> 00:02:39,369
- Oh, yeah, this is your favorite song.
- That was so psychic.

7
00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:41,412
No, that was you playing it
four times in a row.

8
00:02:41,496 --> 00:02:45,166
Well, love me, love George Michael.
We're kindred spirits.

9
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,627
- How so?
- We're both singers.

10
00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:51,548
Uh, we're both famously misunderstood
and underappreciated in our time.

11
00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:54,777
All that's gonna change, 'cause tomorrow
I've got a big audition for the West End.

12
00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:56,761
And you, uh, came into town for it?

13
00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:59,764
No, I, uh, moved out on my flatmate today.

14
00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:02,725
- So, what, you're gonna move back home?
- Oh, kill me now.

15
00:03:02,809 --> 00:03:06,396
- Uh-oh. Family issues.
- Yeah. Let me count the ways.

16
00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:10,149
Uh, anger, shame, resentment,
embarrassment-- And that's just my mum.

17
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,193
- Do you want to hear about my sister?
- No.

18
00:03:12,277 --> 00:03:13,736
Okay, so what's your plan?

19
00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:16,698
I'll figure it out, you know.
It'll be fine. Something will turn up.

20
00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:18,825
Or someone.

21
00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:20,952
Mm.

22
00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,204
Morning, gorgeous.

23
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:28,293
This bed,
it's like sleeping on a pile of kittens.

24
00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:34,007
If that thought's comfortable
and not completely horrifying.

25
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:35,758
I'm gonna dash down the street.

26
00:03:35,842 --> 00:03:39,762
I need some ginger root, fresh beets,
for my famous breakfast power juice.

27
00:03:39,846 --> 00:03:42,682
- Cool.
- And a cappuccino while you wait.

28
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:43,808
Wow.

29
00:03:43,892 --> 00:03:45,977
And lashings of hot water
if you fancy a shower.

30
00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:48,438
- Bliss.
- I'll be right back.

31
00:03:49,147 --> 00:03:51,149
Ah...

32
00:03:52,317 --> 00:03:53,484
Surprise!

33
00:03:53,568 --> 00:03:55,945
Guess who got back
from the conference a day early.

34
00:03:56,029 --> 00:03:57,405
God, I've missed you.

35
00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:01,492
- God, who are you?
- I'm the... plumber.

36
00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:03,637
- The plumber?
- Look, this isn't what it looks like.

37
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:06,289
- I needed a bed for the night, and he--
- Ed.

38
00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:08,082
Ed was just so understanding.

39
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:09,876
I have gobs of issues, all right?

40
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,562
Accommodation,
because I've run out of options

41
00:04:11,586 --> 00:04:13,397
because I've really messed up
for a number of reasons.

42
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:14,505
- And he--
- Ed.

43
00:04:14,589 --> 00:04:16,090
Ed just seemed to get that.

44
00:04:16,758 --> 00:04:17,800
Did you shag him?

45
00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:21,596
Oh!

46
00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:23,056
Look, you took my bag--

47
00:04:25,725 --> 00:04:26,726
Ow!

48
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:31,481
Why is my life so shit?

49
00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:58,508
Oh...

50
00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:29,497
It's not funny, Klaus.

51
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,499
It's incredible how unfunny it is.

52
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:00,403
Christ.

53
00:06:01,029 --> 00:06:03,865
Oh, I'm sorry, George.

54
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:08,953
Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy.

55
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,008
Hey, you're early.

56
00:06:23,009 --> 00:06:25,136
You are never early. What are you up to?

57
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,387
Accommodation issues.

58
00:06:26,471 --> 00:06:28,806
Mm. So the usual.
What did you do this time?

59
00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:31,601
- Fry someone's fish?
- No. No, that was last week.

60
00:06:39,901 --> 00:06:42,528
You are going to run out
of friends with sofas.

61
00:06:42,612 --> 00:06:45,531
You have been sick.
You need to take care of yourself better.

62
00:06:45,615 --> 00:06:47,700
- Santa, I didn't know you cared.
- I don't care.

63
00:06:47,784 --> 00:06:50,179
I just don't want you to drop dead
in front of the customers.

64
00:06:50,203 --> 00:06:52,705
I don't have enough tinsel
to cover your corpse.

65
00:06:52,789 --> 00:06:54,290
Get to work, Elf.

66
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:03,007
I don't know.
You're gonna have to help me decide.

67
00:07:03,091 --> 00:07:05,426
- They're both so darling.
- I tell you what.

68
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:07,887
Let's pretend Mary had twins,
and you can get both.

69
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:12,016
- You must just love your job.
- Love it.

70
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,434
It's like being in a dream.

71
00:07:13,518 --> 00:07:16,521
All the joys and the love of Christmas

72
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:19,273
every single day of the year.

73
00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:23,528
- Now, which baby is it going to be?
- He's gorgeous, but this one--

74
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:26,340
- He looks like he's having a lot of fun.
- Oh, yeah, and a lot more to come.

75
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:30,660
But this one? Look at him.
He's more like my idea of---

76
00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:32,120
- Jesus Christ.
- You think so too?

77
00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:34,455
- Katarina.
- Excuse me for just one moment. Santa!

78
00:07:34,539 --> 00:07:36,874
- I need a word.
- I'm at work. You could've called.

79
00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:39,168
You're not answering your phone. Remember?

80
00:07:39,252 --> 00:07:41,838
I've come from work.
I need to get back, so get out here.

81
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:45,466
That's my analyst. So sorry.
Santa, can you get down here, please?

82
00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:47,552
Please? Thank you.

83
00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:50,179
Santa?

84
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,598
Are you there?

85
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:55,601
Mum needs you to ring her.

86
00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:59,897
Every time she contacts you
and gets no response, she contacts me.

87
00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:02,066
Yesterday, 17 times. Just do it.

88
00:08:02,150 --> 00:08:05,236
Oh, don't just stand there
issuing commands. I am an adult.

89
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,822
You are the furthest thing from an adult
that I know.

90
00:08:08,948 --> 00:08:10,616
I need time to myself.

91
00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:13,828
I'm asking you to do a single thing,
Katarina.

92
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:16,372
- It's "Kate."
- Whatever. Just ring her. Contact her.

93
00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:17,665
Give me one good reason.

94
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,667
You've missed five doctor's appointments.

95
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,420
You've got one tomorrow, which you know.
You have to be there.

96
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,797
She's also planning a dinner
to celebrate my promotion.

97
00:08:24,881 --> 00:08:28,217
And you not ringing her
is seriously affecting my life.

98
00:08:28,301 --> 00:08:31,137
Will you be inviting Alba to the dinner?

99
00:08:32,388 --> 00:08:34,140
Just ring your mother.

100
00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:36,100
Christ.

101
00:08:38,019 --> 00:08:40,980
Jenna, it's me. Listen, darling,
I'm sorry to leave this message.

102
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:44,108
I just really need a bed for the night.
Even possibly a few nights.

103
00:08:44,192 --> 00:08:46,611
You're my bestie. Please. I know. Just--

104
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:50,448
Hey, Elf!
This is my elf. Santa has elves, you know.

105
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,158
Little helpers.

106
00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:55,620
I have nicknamed her "Lazy the Elf"
because she appears never to work.

107
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:56,704
That's me.

108
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:59,624
She could also be called
"Crushing Disappointment the Elf."

109
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:02,728
- I'm just--
- "Waste of Payroll the Elf,"

110
00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:05,963
"Bleeding Me Dry the Elf,"
"Why on Earth Is She Even Here the Elf."

111
00:09:39,956 --> 00:09:41,457
- What?
- Jesus.

112
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,620
- Where did you come from?
- What are you looking at?

113
00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:47,046
Look. There. You see it?

114
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,799
- Ah.
- Just above the lip of the roof there.

115
00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:51,968
It's quite unusual
to see a bird like that in town.

116
00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:53,886
Blimey.

117
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:57,723
- Oh, damn it!
- Here. I think it just pooed in your eye.

118
00:09:57,807 --> 00:09:59,141
Yeah, I think so.

119
00:09:59,225 --> 00:10:00,661
- Good-bye, my people.
- Sorry.

120
00:10:00,685 --> 00:10:02,395
Ow.

121
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:04,581
- Where have you been?
- Oh. A shitting bird just shat in my eye.

122
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,399
- Is there a bird in here?
- No.

123
00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:08,602
Some bloke was outside the shop
playing silly buggers.

124
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,194
Maybe you can focus your attention

125
00:10:10,278 --> 00:10:12,339
on the silly buggers inside the shop.

126
00:10:12,363 --> 00:10:14,240
Oh! My phone. Sorry. Sorry.

127
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:15,658
I'm sorry, Santa.

128
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,869
Yeah! Jenna? Yes!

129
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:21,765
Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
I'll be with you around 8:00. Okay.

130
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,725
- Get off the phone, Elf!
- Okay, I got to go. Bye.

131
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:26,877
- I'm just gonna get the shit out my eye.
- Time to sparkle!

132
00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:33,426
There you are, sir.
Enjoy your festive hybrid Hanukkah bush.

133
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:36,220
- Merry Christmas to you. Thank you.
- Thank you. Take care.

134
00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:40,951
- Your mother again?
- I curse the day I was born.

135
00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:43,019
- Me too.
- Ha. Funny, no.

136
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:45,622
I installed everything on her phone,
from Snapchat to Instagram.

137
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,815
It means I can disappoint her
in more ways than ever.

138
00:10:48,441 --> 00:10:50,109
- Mothers are hell.
- Oh, yeah.

139
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,696
Mm. Hello.

140
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,740
- Leave him to me.
- Oh?

141
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,993
You'll just flirt with him,
and he'll forget to buy anything.

142
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,787
- Hi.
- How can I help you?

143
00:11:01,871 --> 00:11:03,748
Wouldn't mind finding him in my stocking.

144
00:11:06,459 --> 00:11:08,544
- Hi.
- Ah! Hi. Hi.

145
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:11,339
- I came in to check on your eye.
- It's fine.

146
00:11:11,422 --> 00:11:13,466
- It's good luck, you know.
- What is?

147
00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:14,967
Getting pooed on by a bird.

148
00:11:15,051 --> 00:11:17,178
- Bollocks is it.
- No, seriously.

149
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:20,181
So I thought I'd see if you fancied
a little stroll with me.

150
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:22,433
Oh, that's my luck,
going for a stroll with you?

151
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,517
Might be.

152
00:11:23,601 --> 00:11:25,603
Look, did you find me on Swiper?

153
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:26,854
- Swiper?
- Yeah.

154
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,957
The modern dating application
you might have heard of.

155
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,524
Oh. So not.

156
00:11:30,608 --> 00:11:33,861
- To be honest, you're not really my type.
- To be honest, you're not really mine.

157
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:38,032
Well, maybe we should just leave it then.

158
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,950
I do like a challenge though.

159
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:41,911
You considered BASE jumping?

160
00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:43,913
- Japanese blowfish?
- No, I have.

161
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:45,915
But right now
I'm considering a stroll with you.

162
00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:48,626
Consider away, because it's a no.

163
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,796
Is there anything I could improve upon
to, say, persuade you?

164
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,506
- No.
- Any reason in particular?

165
00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:55,400
Because you're weird,
this is weird, and I don't know you.

166
00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:57,009
So, please, could you just leave, okay?

167
00:11:57,093 --> 00:11:59,678
- Shoo. Just go. Just go.
- Hold on. This is weird.

168
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,972
Weirder than Grabber or Swiper
or whatever it's called?

169
00:12:02,056 --> 00:12:03,099
Yeah.

170
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:05,518
Oh, just--

171
00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:09,063
Weirder than total strangers
deciding on one Photoshopped image

172
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,565
whether or not to engage
in immediate foreplay?

173
00:12:11,649 --> 00:12:13,150
I'm busy. You're weird. Good-bye.

174
00:12:25,371 --> 00:12:26,497
Um...

175
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,458
Do you need any--

176
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,802
- Good evening.
- Good eve--

177
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:43,305
Can I help you?

178
00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:45,015
I think so.

179
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:48,686
Go on then.

180
00:12:49,687 --> 00:12:51,605
What is it you were looking for?

181
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,357
Uh...

182
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,026
this.

183
00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,029
That is very nice.

184
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,407
It's Mr. Claus, I believe.

185
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,616
Yes.

186
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,285
Upon his vehicle.

187
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:05,411
Yes.

188
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,706
Do you have something dissimilar?

189
00:13:09,415 --> 00:13:13,252
Yes. We have many dissimilar items.

190
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,632
For instance, this Christmas gibbon.

191
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,397
It is amusing.

192
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,275
I think so too.

193
00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:41,822
I'll come back for it.

194
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,117
Yes.

195
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:46,827
Yes.

196
00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,166
Yes.

197
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:04,220
Wow. That was like watching
a short Scandinavian film.

198
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,015
Are you all right?

199
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:13,229
- Yes, I'm fine.
- Wait. Hang on. Did you like him?

200
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:15,314
You're so mysterious, I can't tell.

201
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:19,652
- Of course not.
- Oh, my God, you did like him.

202
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:21,403
I don't know anything about him.

203
00:14:21,487 --> 00:14:23,239
And you're fantasizing, Elf,

204
00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:26,408
because all you seem to think about
these days is sex.

205
00:14:26,492 --> 00:14:27,535
Ooh.

206
00:14:31,789 --> 00:14:33,874
- Oh, my God! He's coming back.
- Where?

207
00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:36,544
Got you. I knew you liked him.

208
00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:40,589
Well, now I know. You like your men
tall, shy and translucent.

209
00:14:40,673 --> 00:14:42,800
Like a squid,
but with bones and less legs.

210
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:44,885
Shut up, lock up, and good night.

211
00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:46,178
Mm-hmm.

212
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,265
Oh, shit.

213
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,518
Arse, head and hole!

214
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,233
Piss off, Klaus!

215
00:15:01,819 --> 00:15:03,904
Sorry! Late for an audition.

216
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,955
Sorry! Bugger!

217
00:15:14,582 --> 00:15:17,084
No, no! Please wait! Please wait!
Please wait!

218
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,836
He was-- He was very good.

219
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,713
Not for me.

220
00:15:20,796 --> 00:15:22,840
- Charming.
- Jarring.

221
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,759
- I would put him in "maybe plus."
- "Maybe plus."

222
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:27,636
Hi.

223
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,805
- Hi. Sorry.
- Hi. Oh.

224
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,449
- So sorry. I'm late.
- Sorry.

225
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,100
The auditions are closed now.

226
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:35,352
I was on the list. My name's Kate Andrich.

227
00:15:35,436 --> 00:15:37,236
There was a terrible accident
on the way here.

228
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:38,689
Was Santa involved?

229
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,149
She was, actually, yeah.

230
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:43,360
"She"? Oh, is this like
a "God being a woman now" thing?

231
00:15:43,444 --> 00:15:45,946
Oh, no. These are my work clothes.
Don't worry about it.

232
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:47,740
Where do you work? Elf and Safety?

233
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:50,576
Not exactly.

234
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,786
Uh, I'm so sorry. You're gonna have to

235
00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,538
- come back next time.
- It's too late.

236
00:15:54,622 --> 00:15:58,167
You know what? Let her go. Who knows?
She might be the next Streisand.

237
00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:01,670
We don't know. Plus, I've never seen
an elf audition before.

238
00:16:02,463 --> 00:16:06,258
Um, yeah. Take it away,
you weird little North Pole-ian.

239
00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:08,719
It's Kate. Where can I plug in my music?

240
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,471
The sound engineer's gone home.

241
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:14,141
- Great.
- A cappella. The penalty for lateness.

242
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:17,186
Yeah, I can do that. Okay. Sure.

243
00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:19,438
Okay.

244
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,918
- You've got the part.
- Don't I need to--

245
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,545
Oh, uh, sorry. No, no, no, it was--

246
00:16:43,629 --> 00:16:45,255
It was shit.

247
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,303
Whoa!

248
00:16:51,387 --> 00:16:53,639
- You. Again.
- What do you mean, "again"?

249
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:56,308
- Did you follow me here?
- No, I made a delivery here.

250
00:16:56,392 --> 00:16:59,019
- Yeah?
- Are elves always so cynical?

251
00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:01,814
Yes, relentlessly. These are dark times.

252
00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:05,776
So having not followed you here,
and having made my delivery,

253
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,153
and you having bumped into me by chance,

254
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,072
here we are.

255
00:17:10,823 --> 00:17:12,074
"Here we are"?

256
00:17:12,658 --> 00:17:14,338
Well, for instance,
we could go for a walk.

257
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:17,371
Why do you keep trying to
take me for a walk? I'm not a dog.

258
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:19,957
- You are wearing a collar.
- Oh, LOL. You know what?

259
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,043
- I'm just not in the mood for a walk.
- Why?

260
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:24,461
Well, fine. Okay.

261
00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:27,256
I was just incredibly bad at what I do

262
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:29,258
in front of people
who could've given me a job.

263
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:30,759
I thought you had a job.

264
00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:33,345
Yes, but it's not what I "do" do.
I'm not a career elf.

265
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,431
What do you do?

266
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,058
Sing.

267
00:17:38,142 --> 00:17:40,060
Wow. That's pretty amazing.

268
00:17:40,144 --> 00:17:42,896
I just can't seem to... at the moment.

269
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:45,232
Anyway, boring, boring, boring.
La, la, la.

270
00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,650
I'm not bored.

271
00:17:46,734 --> 00:17:49,820
- Actually, who are you?
- I'm Tom.

272
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:52,364
Kate.

273
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,723
- Why are you so flexible?
- Why are you dressed like an elf?

274
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,619
You know why. And you know what?

275
00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:02,499
I have had my fill of utterly hilarious
elf jokes for one night.

276
00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:03,876
Cover me.

277
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,421
- Here?
- Here.

278
00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:10,466
You are now my cupboard door.

279
00:18:12,718 --> 00:18:14,553
- Do you do this often?
- Only when I have to.

280
00:18:17,473 --> 00:18:20,976
- Oh, piss off. Nice covering.
- I'm trying my best here.

281
00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:26,899
Okay. Oh, no. Hang on.

282
00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:31,028
- Where are we going?
- This way. Come on.

283
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,157
Oh...

284
00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:38,368
Look at that.

285
00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:40,621
- You never seen this alleyway before?
- Nope.

286
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:42,873
This is the narrowest alley in London.

287
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:45,918
My mate Hendo calls it
"Fat Man's Squeeze."

288
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,837
- It's pretty cool, though, isn't it?
- Sure. Why not?

289
00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:50,339
I like hidden places.

290
00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:54,301
Has anyone ever told you there's something
slightly serial killer-y about you?

291
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:58,055
No. Come to think of it,
no one's ever said that to me before.

292
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,265
- Ah.
- Never more than once, anyway.

293
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,980
- Why are you always dancing about?
- Look up.

294
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:09,566
Oh, wow.

295
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:12,069
- Are they mice?
- Yeah, I think so.

296
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:16,323
There must be a story attached to them.
I'll have to find out one day.

297
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,534
- Yeah. I mean, it's very--
- Come on.

298
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,954
You are so strange.

299
00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:24,289
- You're so weird!
- Keep looking up.

300
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,060
Oh. Ow!

301
00:19:27,084 --> 00:19:29,127
- You okay?
- No!

302
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:32,548
Just my luck.
I face-plant into a pile of rubbish

303
00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:35,592
because I wasn't looking where
I was going like a bloody normal person.

304
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:38,637
- You're not used to looking up.
- Or smelling like a bin.

305
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,722
- Have you seen this?
- Seen what?

306
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,809
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.

307
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,854
I've walked down this street many times.
I've never seen that before.

308
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:48,939
Like I say, follow me.

309
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:15,048
This is cool.

310
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,176
Welcome to my secret little garden.

311
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,554
I had no idea this existed.

312
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,139
Not many people do.

313
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:24,641
Oh.

314
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:26,935
Ooh. Have a look over there.

315
00:20:27,019 --> 00:20:28,604
- It's Gideon.
- Yes.

316
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,314
- He's recently divorced.
- Oh.

317
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,733
He owes £748 in child support.

318
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:35,110
How do you know?

319
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:38,113
I heard him have a very loud
phone conversation behind that shrub.

320
00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:40,699
He probably thought
no one could hear him.

321
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:44,244
- Oh, and that's Geoff, a Mafia don.
- Really?

322
00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:46,246
No. He works at Burger King.

323
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:48,832
He's also a vegan, so very conflicted.

324
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,543
Who's she?

325
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,671
That's Ursula.
She lives in the flats round the back.

326
00:20:54,755 --> 00:20:57,174
She runs a brothel down in Bethnal Green.

327
00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:00,052
Some of the girls used to come,
take a seat,

328
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:02,804
have a chat, and then go back to work.

329
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,474
Do you think
she was giving them tips?

330
00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:08,185
No. More like a bit of support.

331
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:12,689
- I want to talk to her.
- No, you can't do that. No, no.

332
00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:16,360
Everyone keeps everyone's secrets here.
It's like an unspoken rule.

333
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,111
You just told me Gideon's.

334
00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:20,739
Fair point.

335
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:23,367
You're one of us now.

336
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,751
So when's your next audition?

337
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,796
- Saturday. It's for <i>Frozen.</i>
- What's that?

338
00:21:35,879 --> 00:21:38,382
You-- You really don't know?

339
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:39,675
- No, really.
- Okay.

340
00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:44,221
It's a film about two sisters who used
to get on really well, and then don't,

341
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:48,392
because one of them
has a problem with ice.

342
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,769
And the production is on ice!

343
00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:53,271
Huh. So you can skate as well as sing?

344
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:55,273
- No.
- You can't skate?

345
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:58,694
Never tried it.
I'm gonna wing it. It'll be cool.

346
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:01,446
- I really enjoyed our walk today.
- Ditto.

347
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:04,992
Would you like to repeat the experience?

348
00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:08,078
- Would you like to give me your number?
- I don't have a phone.

349
00:22:10,455 --> 00:22:14,167
I was just beginning to think
you're not as weird as you look.

350
00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:17,254
Before you throw me in the bin
with the rest of your battered conquests,

351
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,756
it's not completely true--
I do have a phone.

352
00:22:20,716 --> 00:22:23,093
- It's just locked in a cupboard.
- Why?

353
00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:26,346
I got so tired of staring
at my hand all day. You should try it.

354
00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:29,200
That's like saying you should try death.

355
00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:32,853
- Somebody really wants to get hold of you.
- Someone really isn't gonna get a chance.

356
00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:35,605
No.

357
00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:38,775
Ditch that.
All of your stresses will just melt away.

358
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:41,570
Oh, but I just like stress.

359
00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:43,530
Oi. You getting on?

360
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,991
- Yeah.
- Your chariot awaits.

361
00:22:46,074 --> 00:22:48,577
Indeed.

362
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,871
- I'll see you at the store.
- Okay.

363
00:22:50,954 --> 00:22:54,207
- And don't forget-- look up.
- Oh, for God's sake, shut up, will you?

364
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:25,530
- Hi.
- Hi. Thank you so much.

365
00:23:25,614 --> 00:23:27,282
- Thank you so much.
- It's okay.

366
00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:32,079
And your suite, madame. Ta-da!

367
00:23:32,788 --> 00:23:35,957
You called just before we got the crib up,
so there was still room.

368
00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:39,753
Yeah. This is gonna be so good
for my sex life.

369
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:51,473
- Hey, Ruf.
- Hey, Kate.

370
00:23:51,556 --> 00:23:52,808
- Thanks for this.
- Holding up?

371
00:23:52,891 --> 00:23:55,435
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, fine. Totally fine.
- How's it all been?

372
00:23:57,270 --> 00:24:00,524
- Reentry and all that. How's Santa?
- Oh, you know, fine.

373
00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:03,944
Her usual curt, Asian self.

374
00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:05,904
I thought you might have
decided to move on.

375
00:24:05,987 --> 00:24:07,364
No, no.

376
00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:09,092
With something that started
as a Saturday job?

377
00:24:09,116 --> 00:24:11,409
Yeah. Comfy where I am.

378
00:24:11,952 --> 00:24:15,330
And what about your folks and Mad Marta,

379
00:24:15,413 --> 00:24:17,666
- with her law firm and her briefcase?
- Oh.

380
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:22,045
I stay out of contact with the crazies,
just to give myself a bit of space.

381
00:24:22,129 --> 00:24:26,049
- Are the doctors keeping in touch?
- How about being pregnant? Huh?

382
00:24:26,133 --> 00:24:29,177
- For crying out loud, how's that?
- It's a total conspiracy, is what it is.

383
00:24:29,261 --> 00:24:31,638
- Yeah?
- They lie to you about pregnancy.

384
00:24:31,721 --> 00:24:34,474
You know the whole glowing,
mother-to-be image you see in the ads?

385
00:24:34,558 --> 00:24:37,060
It's just bollocks. Genuine bollocks.

386
00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:39,563
It's just a nine-month-long trauma

387
00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:41,290
- spent piddling into cups...
- Of course it is.

388
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:44,151
...being poked up the vag
by strangers with cold hands,

389
00:24:44,234 --> 00:24:47,779
and if men had to do this shit,
we would have contraceptive beer.

390
00:24:47,863 --> 00:24:49,156
Actually, if men had to do it,

391
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:51,408
- the human race would just die out.
- Shh.

392
00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:55,245
No, Ruf. I know you know all this,
and I know you're fed up with feminism--

393
00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:58,874
I'm not fed up with feminism.
No, I mean she's not listening.

394
00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:05,130
That's not right.

395
00:25:07,048 --> 00:25:10,468
This is a fish knife. I'm trying to cut
a passion fruit with a fish knife.

396
00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:14,097
- If anyone can do it, you can.
- It's your fault. You did this.

397
00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:25,233
Well, hey, Sleeping Beauty.

398
00:25:25,317 --> 00:25:27,402
- Hi.
- Come and grab some food.

399
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:28,486
Oh, yeah.

400
00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,947
Oh! Good sleeping.

401
00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:34,868
Anyone up for a, you know, pizza?
Bottle of Rioja?

402
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:36,703
Mm. Celiac.

403
00:25:36,786 --> 00:25:38,663
- Oh, yeah. I forgot.
- And preggers.

404
00:25:38,747 --> 00:25:41,249
So we ain't drinking either, party girl.

405
00:25:41,333 --> 00:25:44,544
Okay. Well, I'm off out.

406
00:25:44,628 --> 00:25:47,839
Okay. I'll see you later.
I won't be too late. I promise.

407
00:25:47,923 --> 00:25:50,133
Yeah, all right. Peace out.

408
00:25:52,886 --> 00:25:55,597
Don't. She's my oldest friend.

409
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,242
- I know it seems like she's--
- The most selfish woman in the world?

410
00:25:58,266 --> 00:26:00,936
Oof. Harsh. She's been ill.

411
00:26:01,019 --> 00:26:04,981
I'm over the galleon, but one more thing,
and my legendary patience will crumble.

412
00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:07,025
Don't bring that up.
She burned her eyebrows off.

413
00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:09,527
Her eyebrows will grow back.
You know what won't grow back?

414
00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,698
- Oh, my--
- My matchstick galleon.

415
00:26:13,782 --> 00:26:15,575
No, I agree. One, and she's out.

416
00:26:16,660 --> 00:26:19,788
<i>Wakey, wakey, London.</i>
<i>Here's something to start your day.</i>

417
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,052
No! Not again! Stop. Shh.

418
00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:38,574
- You take me for full English now?
- No. You had the full English last night.

419
00:26:41,184 --> 00:26:42,852
Hi.

420
00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:44,729
Morning. Hello.

421
00:26:44,813 --> 00:26:47,565
Happy? A good morning.
It's brilliant. It's lovely, isn't it?

422
00:26:47,649 --> 00:26:49,567
Wow. Someone looks not rested.

423
00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:51,528
What? Me? No, fine. Totally fine.

424
00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:56,324
- Able to leap sofas in a single bound--
- Oh, my God! No, no, no!

425
00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:24,769
- Just gonna write this out for you.
- They've had a right go, haven't they?

426
00:27:24,853 --> 00:27:27,272
- Probably just kids.
- Yeah, I reckon it's just kids.

427
00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:30,692
I just said. This is your crime number.
You'll need it for insurance.

428
00:27:30,775 --> 00:27:32,986
- What happened?
- Break-in, I'm afraid.

429
00:27:33,069 --> 00:27:34,821
Very common this time of year.

430
00:27:34,904 --> 00:27:37,365
- Place like this is a prime target.
- Lovely, it is.

431
00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:39,534
Is that a crocodile with pom-poms?

432
00:27:41,578 --> 00:27:44,205
- Yes.
- And, uh, who's this?

433
00:27:44,289 --> 00:27:45,582
This is my employee.

434
00:27:45,665 --> 00:27:49,044
She locked up last night,
so please ask her if she saw anything.

435
00:27:51,921 --> 00:27:53,298
Nothing out of the ordinary.

436
00:27:54,341 --> 00:27:56,193
- Are you writing that down?
- How do you spell "ordinary"?

437
00:27:56,217 --> 00:27:58,762
Well, we're done here.
We'll be in touch if we hear anything.

438
00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:02,349
- Mm, pity. It's a lovely place.
- It is. I love Christmas.

439
00:28:02,432 --> 00:28:03,767
No, you don't.

440
00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:06,037
You make "have a merry Christmas"
sound like a death threat.

441
00:28:06,061 --> 00:28:07,520
What are you talking about?

442
00:28:07,604 --> 00:28:10,482
- Merry Christmas.
- Have yourself a merry Christmas, yeah?

443
00:28:10,565 --> 00:28:12,650
- You see? You just did it.
- What do you mean?

444
00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:13,860
Let me get my phone out.

445
00:28:13,943 --> 00:28:16,213
I'll record you, and you'll realize
you sound like Jason Statham.

446
00:28:16,237 --> 00:28:18,132
That's a good thing,
'cause I love Jason Statham,

447
00:28:18,156 --> 00:28:19,592
- so that's not an insult.
- Santa, I--

448
00:28:19,616 --> 00:28:21,326
- Don't talk to me.
- But, listen, I--

449
00:28:21,409 --> 00:28:24,621
I said, "Don't talk to me."
You forgot to lock up.

450
00:28:24,704 --> 00:28:26,247
Don't deny it.

451
00:28:26,331 --> 00:28:27,874
I can pay you back.

452
00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:33,797
Now, you listen to me,
and you listen good.

453
00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:36,549
You were great at your job
when you started.

454
00:28:36,633 --> 00:28:38,885
That's why I took you on full-time.

455
00:28:38,968 --> 00:28:43,515
You've got a way with people,
and I felt so lucky to have you.

456
00:28:44,182 --> 00:28:47,060
- Thanks.
- But I don't feel lucky anymore.

457
00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:50,730
Since you came back,
you started losing your shit.

458
00:28:50,814 --> 00:28:53,108
It's like you don't care about anything.

459
00:28:54,317 --> 00:28:57,779
So now, you care about this.

460
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:02,242
I had to smash my own window
to make it look like a break-in.

461
00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:04,994
Otherwise I wouldn't get the insurance.

462
00:29:05,078 --> 00:29:08,915
You turned me into someone
who broke the law.

463
00:29:13,211 --> 00:29:17,382
I can't believe I'm even giving you
another chance, but I am, because...

464
00:29:18,591 --> 00:29:20,427
- I am a good person.
- Yeah.

465
00:29:20,510 --> 00:29:23,680
But one more thing, and you're out.

466
00:29:25,723 --> 00:29:29,727
So clean up your mess,
you stupid, stupid girl.

467
00:30:07,557 --> 00:30:08,725
Hey.

468
00:30:08,808 --> 00:30:09,893
Hey.

469
00:30:10,643 --> 00:30:12,479
Were you coming to see me?

470
00:30:12,562 --> 00:30:14,606
- No.
- Oh.

471
00:30:15,523 --> 00:30:17,192
- Great.
- You okay?

472
00:30:17,275 --> 00:30:18,860
Yeah. No, we had a break-in,

473
00:30:18,943 --> 00:30:20,987
- and Santa's taken it really badly.
- Right.

474
00:30:21,404 --> 00:30:24,341
And I got chucked out of my digs
this morning, so I've got nowhere to stay.

475
00:30:24,365 --> 00:30:26,034
- Hmm.
- Anyway, I'm homeless again.

476
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:27,494
That bad, huh?

477
00:30:27,577 --> 00:30:28,786
Yep.

478
00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:29,954
Okay.

479
00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:34,059
- You should come with me then.
- You were so coming to see me.

480
00:30:34,083 --> 00:30:35,752
- Mm-mmm.
- Yep.

481
00:30:35,835 --> 00:30:36,920
- Nope.
- Yep.

482
00:30:37,003 --> 00:30:38,463
Not in your wildest dreams.

483
00:30:38,546 --> 00:30:39,839
- Uh, yeah.
- This way.

484
00:30:39,923 --> 00:30:42,509
- Yeah, you were coming to see me.
- Uh-uh.

485
00:30:44,052 --> 00:30:45,303
Here we are.

486
00:30:46,429 --> 00:30:49,641
- What is this?
- Your people. The homeless.

487
00:30:49,724 --> 00:30:51,809
Oh, Christ.

488
00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:53,603
Well, thanks, Bono

489
00:30:53,686 --> 00:30:56,814
or Mother Teresa or whoever wins
the moral superiority prize.

490
00:30:56,898 --> 00:30:58,775
You're the one
who used the word "homeless."

491
00:30:58,858 --> 00:31:01,277
I meant I haven't got a place
to stay that I've chosen.

492
00:31:01,361 --> 00:31:03,047
I choose not to go back
to my parents' house.

493
00:31:03,071 --> 00:31:06,199
- And they live here in London?
- Yeah, kind of, sort of.

494
00:31:06,991 --> 00:31:08,928
Christ, if I'm going home,
I'm gonna need a drink.

495
00:31:08,952 --> 00:31:11,746
How about you leave it,
and you go home alarmingly sober?

496
00:31:11,829 --> 00:31:14,624
Bugger off,
person who has never met my parents.

497
00:31:14,707 --> 00:31:15,792
Okay.

498
00:31:16,834 --> 00:31:18,169
Where are you going?

499
00:31:19,295 --> 00:31:21,339
- I'm going in there.
- Well, you're not homeless?

500
00:31:21,422 --> 00:31:22,715
No, I volunteer in here.

501
00:31:24,968 --> 00:31:28,388
Christ, why don't you just get "saint"
tattooed on your forehead?

502
00:31:28,471 --> 00:31:31,099
Oh, boy. Just can't help it, can you?

503
00:31:31,516 --> 00:31:32,684
Help what?

504
00:31:33,226 --> 00:31:35,520
Never mind. Good luck.

505
00:31:36,604 --> 00:31:38,439
- Oh.
- Good night.

506
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,441
I honestly think she preferred it
when I was ill.

507
00:32:21,524 --> 00:32:24,861
You know? Like it made her
more important, more center-stage.

508
00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:28,573
And all she's done, really,
since the operation,

509
00:32:28,656 --> 00:32:32,076
is try to interfere and control my life.

510
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,760
How do you even know if you have a life?

511
00:32:33,828 --> 00:32:35,556
Does anything official arrive
that tells you?

512
00:32:35,580 --> 00:32:37,957
Like an envelope that's like,
"Dear so-and-so.

513
00:32:38,041 --> 00:32:40,251
You now have a life.
We wish you'd get on with it."

514
00:32:40,335 --> 00:32:43,171
- Hmm.
- Oh, everything's just such a mess.

515
00:32:43,254 --> 00:32:45,006
How did I even get here?

516
00:32:45,089 --> 00:32:46,841
Through the tunnel.

517
00:32:46,924 --> 00:32:48,343
Yeah.

518
00:32:49,969 --> 00:32:51,220
Here we are.

519
00:32:51,304 --> 00:32:53,681
Mm. Thanks, Dad.

520
00:32:55,391 --> 00:32:56,726
You coming in?

521
00:32:56,809 --> 00:32:58,853
No, no, no. Your mother is still up.

522
00:32:58,936 --> 00:33:00,772
I like to wait until she's asleep.

523
00:33:01,606 --> 00:33:02,774
She talks less.

524
00:33:05,318 --> 00:33:09,447
Why don't you just get a divorce, huh?
Been avoiding each other for years.

525
00:33:09,530 --> 00:33:12,492
Ah. No, divorce is for the rich.

526
00:33:12,575 --> 00:33:13,826
Ah.

527
00:33:14,744 --> 00:33:16,913
Get some rest, Katarina. You look done in.

528
00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:18,247
It's "Kate."

529
00:33:18,331 --> 00:33:19,332
Ah.

530
00:33:20,792 --> 00:33:22,460
Don't pick up anyone dodgy.

531
00:33:22,543 --> 00:33:24,420
Yeah.

532
00:33:24,504 --> 00:33:25,713
Love you.

533
00:33:38,976 --> 00:33:40,019
Oh.

534
00:33:46,734 --> 00:33:47,777
Mum?

535
00:33:49,987 --> 00:33:51,906
Mum, would you let me in?

536
00:33:52,824 --> 00:33:55,201
Mum? Would-- Mum!

537
00:33:56,786 --> 00:33:58,955
Nailed it shut. Mental.

538
00:34:00,289 --> 00:34:03,334
KGB! Open up! KGB!

539
00:34:05,753 --> 00:34:08,089
Stop. Stop. You are very bad girl.

540
00:34:08,715 --> 00:34:10,967
- Would you prefer the KGB?
- KGB--

541
00:34:11,050 --> 00:34:14,303
You don't make joke about
what you don't understand.

542
00:34:14,387 --> 00:34:15,614
Yeah, well, can I just come in?

543
00:34:15,638 --> 00:34:17,807
What you done? You look like dead person.

544
00:34:17,890 --> 00:34:19,642
Oh, yeah. Thanks. Great parenting. Great.

545
00:34:19,726 --> 00:34:22,937
- Why don't you ring me? You have phone.
- It's broken.

546
00:34:23,020 --> 00:34:28,401
Why you say that? Why you not ring me
when I worry about you?

547
00:34:29,110 --> 00:34:30,862
Not to hear nothing.

548
00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:36,451
No call, no Twitter, no Snapchat shot.

549
00:34:36,534 --> 00:34:38,578
I think, "She's dead, she's had lapse",

550
00:34:38,661 --> 00:34:42,206
she's never coming home,
like her father who is never here."

551
00:34:42,790 --> 00:34:47,170
- My life is hell, Katarina.
- It's "Kate." It's "Kate."

552
00:34:47,253 --> 00:34:51,257
"Kate" is not a name. "Katarina" is name.

553
00:34:51,340 --> 00:34:56,179
Katarina. Cat is animal. Cat, dog.

554
00:34:56,262 --> 00:34:59,265
What I call Marta? Dog.
I call you cat. Meow.

555
00:34:59,348 --> 00:35:02,018
Yeah, no, great, but can I get some sleep?

556
00:35:02,101 --> 00:35:04,312
One of us should sleep.

557
00:35:04,395 --> 00:35:05,855
I don't sleep.

558
00:35:05,938 --> 00:35:07,607
This is very--

559
00:35:07,690 --> 00:35:09,609
- This is naughty.
- Yeah.

560
00:35:09,692 --> 00:35:14,238
- Mum! Can I please just go to sleep?
- Yes, you sleep. We talk morning.

561
00:35:14,322 --> 00:35:16,240
- You are clean, hmm?
- Yeah, yeah.

562
00:35:16,324 --> 00:35:18,284
- Pillow. Pillow.
- Okay. Yeah, it's a pillow.

563
00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:20,119
- Head. Sleep.
- Yeah, I'm gonna--

564
00:35:21,162 --> 00:35:22,663
- Mm.
- Yeah, okay.

565
00:35:24,665 --> 00:35:27,251
- Okay. Good night.
- Naughty.

566
00:35:32,590 --> 00:35:33,758
Oh, God.

567
00:36:01,702 --> 00:36:04,372
So, tell me about the diet.
Keeping up with the fruit and veg?

568
00:36:04,455 --> 00:36:05,456
Yeah, fine.

569
00:36:05,540 --> 00:36:07,792
She's eating rubbish when she is outside.

570
00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:10,795
When she's at home,
she's eating my food, and it's good.

571
00:36:10,878 --> 00:36:12,964
I'm sure it is. What about sleep?

572
00:36:13,047 --> 00:36:14,358
- It's all right.
- She never sleeps.

573
00:36:14,382 --> 00:36:15,383
Exercise?

574
00:36:15,466 --> 00:36:16,634
- Religiously.
- Not at all.

575
00:36:16,717 --> 00:36:18,219
- Alcohol?
- Every once in a while.

576
00:36:18,302 --> 00:36:20,137
Oh, she's drinking like the pirate.

577
00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:21,573
- You say you're okay.
- Yep.

578
00:36:21,597 --> 00:36:23,641
And your mother says the opposite.
Who do I believe?

579
00:36:23,724 --> 00:36:25,601
- Me, obviously.
- Me, the mother, of course.

580
00:36:25,685 --> 00:36:28,813
All right, all right, listen.
There's nothing conclusive here,

581
00:36:28,896 --> 00:36:31,732
but you, Kate,
you've got to take care of your heart.

582
00:36:31,816 --> 00:36:35,570
You need to rest more,
eat better, drink less,

583
00:36:35,653 --> 00:36:37,196
and stop being so angry.

584
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:38,281
Da.

585
00:36:38,364 --> 00:36:41,367
And you, Mrs. Andrich,
you need to worry less.

586
00:36:41,450 --> 00:36:45,371
I not sleeping. Can you please
give me something for sleeping?

587
00:36:45,454 --> 00:36:47,748
Mrs. Andrich, you've been given
everything there is

588
00:36:47,832 --> 00:36:50,084
for sleep, anxiety, panic attacks,
the lot.

589
00:36:50,167 --> 00:36:52,145
You have the best that
modern medicine has to offer.

590
00:36:52,169 --> 00:36:56,340
- Then what can I do?
- Join a club. Hmm? Talk to other people.

591
00:36:56,424 --> 00:36:57,842
Enjoy time with your friends.

592
00:36:59,135 --> 00:37:01,137
- All my friends were murdered.
- Okay, fine.

593
00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:03,598
Thank you so much for your time.
Let's go, Mum. Come on.

594
00:37:03,681 --> 00:37:05,892
- Come on. I know. Out we get.
- Thank you.

595
00:37:05,975 --> 00:37:07,744
- Sorry. Let's go.
- We'll see you in a month.

596
00:37:11,689 --> 00:37:12,749
Thank you!

597
00:37:12,773 --> 00:37:13,774
Bloody hell.

598
00:37:29,832 --> 00:37:31,250
Can I help?

599
00:37:31,334 --> 00:37:32,710
No.

600
00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:34,545
I'm having a self-pity party.

601
00:37:34,629 --> 00:37:36,589
Ooh. Am I invited?

602
00:37:38,174 --> 00:37:40,134
Only if you promise to judge me.

603
00:37:40,217 --> 00:37:42,470
Oh, you definitely don't need
any help doing that.

604
00:37:42,845 --> 00:37:44,013
Or maybe you do.

605
00:37:44,931 --> 00:37:46,432
I'm very good at tidying up.

606
00:37:50,019 --> 00:37:51,312
Yes.

607
00:38:09,330 --> 00:38:10,373
These expensive?

608
00:38:10,456 --> 00:38:11,499
Just--

609
00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:15,336
Idiot. Follow me.

610
00:38:16,587 --> 00:38:18,965
Ah. Ta-da.

611
00:38:20,132 --> 00:38:23,427
All right, Mr. Muscle,
you can get to refreshing that tree.

612
00:38:23,511 --> 00:38:24,512
- This one?
- Yeah.

613
00:38:28,015 --> 00:38:29,642
Going home always makes me crazy.

614
00:38:31,811 --> 00:38:33,938
- How was it?
- Hell. Mum sung me to sleep.

615
00:38:35,481 --> 00:38:39,235
You're the only person who can make being
sung to sleep sound like waterboarding.

616
00:38:39,318 --> 00:38:41,570
Well, it's not that dissimilar.

617
00:38:41,654 --> 00:38:44,865
These, um, folk songs
make you want to string yourself up.

618
00:38:45,491 --> 00:38:47,576
Is that where you get your singing from?

619
00:38:47,660 --> 00:38:50,454
Yeah, she was a singer
back in the homeland.

620
00:38:50,538 --> 00:38:52,248
- Where was that?
- Former Yugoslavia.

621
00:38:52,915 --> 00:38:53,916
We had to escape.

622
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,835
- Because of the war?
- Exactly.

623
00:38:56,502 --> 00:38:58,796
Mm. Must have been hard.

624
00:38:58,879 --> 00:39:01,298
Yeah. Dad was a lawyer.

625
00:39:01,382 --> 00:39:04,552
Um, and now he stays away from home
as much as he can

626
00:39:04,635 --> 00:39:06,345
because he'd rather be dead.

627
00:39:06,429 --> 00:39:10,224
Except he's a minicab driver,
which is sort of the same thing.

628
00:39:11,017 --> 00:39:12,309
Can he not practice here?

629
00:39:12,393 --> 00:39:16,439
No, he couldn't afford to retrain,
so he's out all the time.

630
00:39:16,522 --> 00:39:19,275
Also to avoid my mother,
who's given to depression

631
00:39:19,358 --> 00:39:21,694
in much the same way as, um--

632
00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:23,237
What?

633
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,320
You're looking at me like some sort of
science experiment that's gone wrong.

634
00:39:26,365 --> 00:39:28,451
Sorry. No, I'm interested.

635
00:39:28,534 --> 00:39:29,535
Hmm.

636
00:39:29,618 --> 00:39:32,413
Your mother-- when was the last time
you saw her not being depressed?

637
00:39:34,665 --> 00:39:37,001
Ooh, I think when I got really ill.

638
00:39:37,084 --> 00:39:38,669
And she was happy about that?

639
00:39:38,753 --> 00:39:42,965
No, but she was happy about the attention.

640
00:39:43,049 --> 00:39:46,761
I mean, I got a lot of attention,
but I was unconscious.

641
00:39:47,303 --> 00:39:48,679
She got more.

642
00:39:48,763 --> 00:39:51,557
The doctors, the nurses,
the hospital staff.

643
00:39:52,224 --> 00:39:53,851
Drama. God, she loved it.

644
00:39:54,477 --> 00:39:58,314
She sort of flowered under it,
like a late blossoming or something.

645
00:39:58,397 --> 00:40:01,525
Anyway, when I got better,
it all went away,

646
00:40:01,609 --> 00:40:03,611
and she's just never been the same since.

647
00:40:03,694 --> 00:40:05,696
Maybe she enjoyed being needed again.

648
00:40:05,780 --> 00:40:08,032
Oh, trust you to come up
with something understanding.

649
00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:12,787
That is truly horrific.
I mean, who buys this stuff?

650
00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:14,121
Santa.

651
00:40:14,205 --> 00:40:19,001
She's Chinese, so she's got access
to some really freaky outlets.

652
00:40:19,877 --> 00:40:22,379
She just loves Christmas
more than anything else.

653
00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:25,633
- More than taste or sanity.
- Yes, exactly.

654
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:28,677
And that isn't even
the nastiest thing we sell.

655
00:40:28,761 --> 00:40:31,305
- Inconceivable.
- Hang on.

656
00:40:33,849 --> 00:40:36,644
- Dun, dun, dah!
- Oh!

657
00:40:36,727 --> 00:40:38,395
- Check it out.
- What is it?

658
00:40:38,479 --> 00:40:40,815
- Is that donkey actually smiling at me?
- Yeah. Yeah.

659
00:40:40,898 --> 00:40:43,150
- And that baby has a full set of teeth.
- Oof.

660
00:40:43,234 --> 00:40:45,569
I sold four of these last week.
I'm that good.

661
00:40:45,653 --> 00:40:49,115
Oh, it's a techno manger.

662
00:40:49,198 --> 00:40:51,909
Yeah. It's a disco nativity scene.

663
00:40:51,992 --> 00:40:53,869
Is that really a good nutritional choice?

664
00:40:53,953 --> 00:40:55,329
Oh, God, don't you start.

665
00:40:56,330 --> 00:40:58,582
- Where are you?
- Look up.

666
00:41:01,210 --> 00:41:02,211
Yeah.

667
00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:04,630
After what you've been through,

668
00:41:04,713 --> 00:41:07,508
shouldn't you be eating quinoa or kale
or something?

669
00:41:07,591 --> 00:41:10,636
Yeah, but this admittedly rank burger

670
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,305
is all part of my grand plan
to become a famous singer

671
00:41:13,389 --> 00:41:15,015
and die like Kurt Cobain,

672
00:41:15,099 --> 00:41:17,434
Amy Winehouse and all the rest
at the age of 27.

673
00:41:19,019 --> 00:41:20,646
- How old are you?
- 45.

674
00:41:20,729 --> 00:41:22,148
Oh. Good to have dreams.

675
00:41:22,231 --> 00:41:23,357
Not really. I'm 26.

676
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:24,900
Oh, thank God. You still have time.

677
00:41:26,318 --> 00:41:28,612
Come on. Get rid of that.

678
00:41:28,696 --> 00:41:30,573
Let's go. I've got a surprise for you.

679
00:41:33,367 --> 00:41:36,579
- Ugh. Really?
- Mm! Yummy!

680
00:41:38,414 --> 00:41:41,000
There's something wrong with me.
I'm too trusting.

681
00:41:41,083 --> 00:41:43,210
Down a dark alley again
with a complete stranger.

682
00:41:43,294 --> 00:41:47,006
I don't even-- I mean, seriously--

683
00:41:49,341 --> 00:41:50,718
- All right then.
- Need a hand?

684
00:41:50,801 --> 00:41:53,095
No.

685
00:41:53,929 --> 00:41:55,181
Oh.

686
00:41:55,264 --> 00:41:56,575
- Oh, my God.
- That looked painful.

687
00:41:56,599 --> 00:41:58,309
Yeah. I'm fine!

688
00:41:58,392 --> 00:42:00,311
You're fine.
That was like poetry in motion.

689
00:42:00,394 --> 00:42:01,395
- Piss off.
- Come on.

690
00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:04,064
Sure. I never wanted kids anyway.

691
00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:08,903
Okay. Now I am intrigued.

692
00:42:08,986 --> 00:42:11,155
- How are you gonna dispose of my body?
- Shh!

693
00:42:11,238 --> 00:42:13,490
I am shushing.

694
00:42:15,659 --> 00:42:17,012
Stay back.

695
00:42:17,036 --> 00:42:19,288
Are you seriously doing
a James Bond impression?

696
00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:21,707
Now is not the time for unpleasantness.

697
00:42:22,416 --> 00:42:25,002
Now is the time for romance!

698
00:42:33,969 --> 00:42:35,012
You like?

699
00:42:36,263 --> 00:42:37,598
I like, yeah.

700
00:42:38,766 --> 00:42:40,142
Let's go.

701
00:43:48,585 --> 00:43:49,586
Oi!

702
00:43:49,670 --> 00:43:50,671
- Oh, sorry!
- Oh, crap.

703
00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:51,964
You can't be in here!

704
00:43:52,047 --> 00:43:53,048
- Yeah, no.
- Sorry, no.

705
00:43:53,132 --> 00:43:55,384
- We're leaving.
- Absolutely, we're leaving.

706
00:44:00,472 --> 00:44:02,182
- Ow!
- I'm coming. I'm com--

707
00:44:04,184 --> 00:44:08,147
I would--
I call that a successful date.

708
00:44:08,230 --> 00:44:11,734
Fun, free, illegal, romantic.

709
00:44:11,817 --> 00:44:13,485
And practical too. Don't forget.

710
00:44:13,569 --> 00:44:14,737
Why practical?

711
00:44:14,820 --> 00:44:16,238
Your audition.

712
00:44:16,322 --> 00:44:17,906
- Remember?
- Yes.

713
00:44:17,990 --> 00:44:20,576
I'd like to think that I played a part
in your rise to stardom.

714
00:44:20,659 --> 00:44:23,454
Remember me when you're at the top.

715
00:44:23,537 --> 00:44:25,331
No chance. Tom who?

716
00:44:26,123 --> 00:44:27,416
Actually, Tom who?

717
00:44:29,084 --> 00:44:30,085
Webster.

718
00:44:30,836 --> 00:44:33,505
Ah. You look like a Webster.

719
00:44:36,133 --> 00:44:37,384
Now what?

720
00:44:38,802 --> 00:44:40,429
Now I've got to go to work.

721
00:44:42,848 --> 00:44:44,391
Um...

722
00:44:44,475 --> 00:44:45,976
You knew.

723
00:44:46,060 --> 00:44:47,978
- I work nights.
- Yes.

724
00:44:49,396 --> 00:44:51,106
I knew.

725
00:44:51,190 --> 00:44:53,567
It's night. Cool. Okay.

726
00:44:53,650 --> 00:44:55,194
How you gonna get home?

727
00:44:55,277 --> 00:44:56,779
Oh, the bus.

728
00:44:58,155 --> 00:44:59,573
You gonna be okay?

729
00:45:00,366 --> 00:45:02,910
As okay as I'll ever be on the bus.

730
00:45:02,993 --> 00:45:05,913
Okay, then.
I'll come find you at the shop.

731
00:45:06,622 --> 00:45:10,417
I'm not sure if I've still got a job.
Santa kind of hates me.

732
00:45:10,501 --> 00:45:12,711
Maybe you should do
something nice for Santa.

733
00:45:14,380 --> 00:45:15,547
Good luck.

734
00:45:20,552 --> 00:45:21,720
Look up.

735
00:45:28,227 --> 00:45:29,728
Christ.

736
00:45:31,313 --> 00:45:35,109
- So this is our selection of nutcrackers.
- Working hard over here.

737
00:45:35,192 --> 00:45:37,486
- Mm.
- You know, from the ballet?

738
00:45:37,569 --> 00:45:38,737
- Tchaikovsky?
- Ah!

739
00:45:38,821 --> 00:45:41,907
Which kind of music is this?
I want something--

740
00:45:41,990 --> 00:45:44,910
This is Christmas music.
You must enjoy it.

741
00:45:52,376 --> 00:45:55,295
- This is a big nutcracker.
- Can my nuts fit inside there?

742
00:45:55,379 --> 00:45:56,940
It depends
on how big are your nuts.

743
00:45:56,964 --> 00:45:59,044
But it's too big.
We can't take that with us.

744
00:45:59,091 --> 00:46:01,927
Santa, um,
I think I can take over from there.

745
00:46:02,010 --> 00:46:04,179
Because, um, there's also someone here,

746
00:46:04,263 --> 00:46:06,974
a gentleman who requires
your specific assistance.

747
00:46:07,057 --> 00:46:09,518
Yes, you can have a look.
Think about it.

748
00:46:10,185 --> 00:46:12,914
I'm gonna show you to the even
bigger nutcrackers around the corner.

749
00:46:12,938 --> 00:46:14,064
There's bigger nuts?

750
00:46:14,148 --> 00:46:16,191
For your big nuts. Here we are.

751
00:46:18,735 --> 00:46:20,946
Have you come back for the gibbon?

752
00:46:22,448 --> 00:46:25,242
Of all the things in my life,

753
00:46:25,325 --> 00:46:28,495
this is my best thing.

754
00:46:29,955 --> 00:46:30,956
What is?

755
00:46:31,832 --> 00:46:33,041
Christmas.

756
00:46:35,085 --> 00:46:36,086
Really?

757
00:46:36,170 --> 00:46:38,046
This is why I love to come in here.

758
00:46:38,630 --> 00:46:42,468
I also love it.
That is why I have this shop.

759
00:46:43,886 --> 00:46:45,262
Oh, wow.

760
00:47:03,238 --> 00:47:05,574
Kate, that was lovely. Thank you.

761
00:47:05,657 --> 00:47:08,035
Wonderful. I can smell the commitment.

762
00:47:08,118 --> 00:47:10,889
Do you know we have people turn up here,
never been on an ice rink before?

763
00:47:10,913 --> 00:47:13,123
I just couldn't imagine.

764
00:47:13,207 --> 00:47:16,376
Do you know we had a woman
turn up in a crop top?

765
00:47:16,460 --> 00:47:18,100
- In a crop top to audition.
- I remember.

766
00:47:18,128 --> 00:47:19,796
Do you remember her flip-flops?

767
00:47:20,380 --> 00:47:22,257
Thank you. We'll be in touch.

768
00:47:22,341 --> 00:47:24,384
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

769
00:47:24,468 --> 00:47:27,012
- I think she'd be good for the horse.
- Do you think so?

770
00:47:27,095 --> 00:47:28,096
Oh, no!

771
00:47:29,806 --> 00:47:30,891
Are you all right?

772
00:47:30,974 --> 00:47:34,520
I, uh, I did that just in case
you thought I was too perfect.

773
00:47:35,312 --> 00:47:36,813
Okay.

774
00:47:37,981 --> 00:47:39,066
Okay.

775
00:47:39,149 --> 00:47:40,859
Thank goodness
for a heavy woolen tight.

776
00:47:40,943 --> 00:47:42,110
Idiot.

777
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:44,863
Skaters fall. It's fine.

778
00:48:00,921 --> 00:48:03,674
So it went well, and I am happy.

779
00:48:03,757 --> 00:48:04,925
Good.

780
00:48:05,008 --> 00:48:07,719
All set for your date? Good Lord.

781
00:48:10,889 --> 00:48:13,892
- Okay. Right, um--
- What?

782
00:48:13,976 --> 00:48:15,894
We're just gonna need to dial this down.

783
00:48:15,978 --> 00:48:17,271
I'm making an effort.

784
00:48:17,813 --> 00:48:20,816
He's gonna think he's wandered
into the llama enclosure. Close.

785
00:48:22,776 --> 00:48:24,403
- Ow.
- Mm-hmm.

786
00:48:25,487 --> 00:48:27,281
- Ow.
- Yeah.

787
00:48:27,364 --> 00:48:29,783
- Serves you right.
- So I defer to the Swiper queen.

788
00:48:29,866 --> 00:48:32,244
- Blot.
- Mm.

789
00:48:33,579 --> 00:48:34,746
There we are.

790
00:48:36,415 --> 00:48:38,542
So, where is See-Through taking you?

791
00:48:38,625 --> 00:48:40,711
- I have no idea.
- What's his name?

792
00:48:40,794 --> 00:48:44,089
I can't pronounce it.
Lots of glottal stops.

793
00:48:46,174 --> 00:48:49,303
Oh, when I try to say it,
I sound like a cat with a fur ball.

794
00:48:49,970 --> 00:48:52,180
So I've decided to call him Boy.

795
00:48:52,264 --> 00:48:54,766
Hmm. Well, at least your name's
easier to pronounce.

796
00:48:54,850 --> 00:48:56,768
What? Huang Qing Shin?

797
00:48:58,937 --> 00:49:00,188
You're not really called Santa?

798
00:49:00,981 --> 00:49:03,317
Of course not, idiot.
I chose it for the shop.

799
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:04,776
Really?

800
00:49:04,860 --> 00:49:07,613
When I worked at the pet shop,
I called myself Kitty.

801
00:49:07,696 --> 00:49:09,156
- No.
- Mm-hmm.

802
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:13,452
And at the health food shop, I was Miso.

803
00:49:13,535 --> 00:49:15,537
- No, no.
- Mm-hmm. Yes, yes.

804
00:49:15,621 --> 00:49:18,165
Guess what it was in the bakery
on the Edgware Road.

805
00:49:18,248 --> 00:49:21,335
- Uh... Crumpet? Sausage Roll?
- Muffin.

806
00:49:21,418 --> 00:49:23,670
- Muffin?
- "Muff" for short.

807
00:49:23,754 --> 00:49:26,840
- Excellent.
- More important is, how do I look?

808
00:49:28,300 --> 00:49:29,301
Really hot.

809
00:49:31,678 --> 00:49:34,556
- Did you just giggle like a girl?
- I am a girl.

810
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:36,642
- Not really.
- Oh, shut up.

811
00:49:36,725 --> 00:49:38,644
And where's this man of yours?

812
00:49:38,727 --> 00:49:42,064
The one you keep looking out
the window for instead of working.

813
00:49:42,814 --> 00:49:44,900
I don't know. He hasn't got a phone.

814
00:49:44,983 --> 00:49:47,027
Oh. He's wise.

815
00:49:47,611 --> 00:49:49,905
- What is he doing with you?
- Nothing.

816
00:49:50,322 --> 00:49:51,323
Hmm.

817
00:49:52,366 --> 00:49:55,535
Don't worry, Elf. He'll turn up.

818
00:50:42,916 --> 00:50:44,835
Hi. Excuse me. I'm looking for someone.

819
00:50:44,918 --> 00:50:46,461
- Who's that then?
- Uh, Tom.

820
00:50:46,545 --> 00:50:48,130
Ah, ah, ah.

821
00:50:48,213 --> 00:50:51,216
- Would you like a biscuit, Arthur?
- Have you got a bourbon, Danny boy?

822
00:50:51,299 --> 00:50:54,177
No, but can I press you
to a custard cream?

823
00:50:54,261 --> 00:50:57,305
- Ooh. I wish somebody would.
- Tom, did you say?

824
00:50:57,389 --> 00:50:58,849
Yeah, Tom. Um, he's tall--

825
00:50:58,932 --> 00:51:01,268
Tom!

826
00:51:01,351 --> 00:51:02,894
Take your pick, young lady.

827
00:51:04,146 --> 00:51:07,357
Right. Yeah, see, the thing is,
he's not homeless.

828
00:51:07,441 --> 00:51:09,192
What's he doing here then?

829
00:51:09,276 --> 00:51:12,320
Um, well, he works here. Nights, I think.

830
00:51:12,404 --> 00:51:14,990
Ah, I don't see the night lot, me.
He must be a volunteer.

831
00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:17,367
- Yes. That's--
- Oi, Danny! Give us a hand?

832
00:51:17,451 --> 00:51:20,036
Speaking of which,
be a pet and serve the teas

833
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,913
while I get the soup sorted.

834
00:51:21,997 --> 00:51:25,083
And only two biscuits each, mind.
I'm not made of bloody biscuits.

835
00:51:25,167 --> 00:51:27,919
And watch this one,
'cause last week he filled his pockets.

836
00:51:28,003 --> 00:51:29,629
Come on then! Tea's up!

837
00:51:32,132 --> 00:51:34,676
- I'm Tom. Ex-grenadier.
- Lovely. Um...

838
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:35,761
Will I do?

839
00:51:35,844 --> 00:51:38,597
Do you know, actually,
it's a whole different Tom.

840
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:42,184
But would you like a biscuit?
I could make some tea.

841
00:51:44,770 --> 00:51:47,022
- Just the two then?
- Just--

842
00:51:52,277 --> 00:51:53,904
Anyone like a cup of tea?

843
00:51:55,363 --> 00:51:56,865
Try and keep it down to ten. Oi, oi.

844
00:51:57,908 --> 00:52:00,786
- Nice of you to volunteer.
- I didn't. I was press-ganged.

845
00:52:01,536 --> 00:52:04,331
- You want to help us with the soup?
- No. Thank you, but no.

846
00:52:04,414 --> 00:52:07,000
If Tom Webster does come in,
could you just tell him

847
00:52:07,083 --> 00:52:08,960
that Kate needs to talk to him?

848
00:52:09,044 --> 00:52:10,796
- Not "needs."
- "Would like"?

849
00:52:11,505 --> 00:52:13,965
Yeah. Yeah.

850
00:52:14,049 --> 00:52:16,218
- Got it.
- Yeah, 'cause he doesn't have a phone.

851
00:52:16,301 --> 00:52:20,180
- Would you like soup? You've earned it.
- No, I'm good. Thanks.

852
00:52:21,932 --> 00:52:23,767
Dan, what do you reckon?

853
00:52:25,143 --> 00:52:26,686
Bit up herself, I thought.

854
00:52:29,648 --> 00:52:32,567
And she's very happy.

855
00:52:32,651 --> 00:52:34,736
- I show you picture.
- You showed me, Mum.

856
00:52:34,820 --> 00:52:36,988
A little beautiful picture.

857
00:52:37,072 --> 00:52:39,616
- Hey.
- Oh! Oh, at last!

858
00:52:39,699 --> 00:52:41,493
- There she is.
- Hey, at last.

859
00:52:41,576 --> 00:52:44,454
I was so worried. Where you are, huh?

860
00:52:44,538 --> 00:52:46,957
I was volunteering
at a homeless shelter.

861
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,084
- What it mean?
- It means helping, Mum.

862
00:52:49,167 --> 00:52:50,544
- You? Helping?
- Yes.

863
00:52:50,627 --> 00:52:54,089
Sure, you were. And I
just rescued an orphan from a burning car.

864
00:52:54,172 --> 00:52:56,758
Did I miss something?

865
00:52:56,842 --> 00:52:58,301
Oh, wow.

866
00:52:59,469 --> 00:53:01,781
I'm sorry.
The dinner to celebrate your promotion.

867
00:53:01,805 --> 00:53:04,057
Second promotion. Great achievement.

868
00:53:04,140 --> 00:53:05,392
Thank you, Dad.

869
00:53:05,475 --> 00:53:08,478
- Now you are here, we have <i>krem torta.</i>
- I'm sorry.

870
00:53:08,562 --> 00:53:11,439
- Seriously, Marta, I am sorry.
- It doesn't matter.

871
00:53:11,523 --> 00:53:13,859
- Oh, thanks a lot, Mum.
- Your favorite.

872
00:53:13,942 --> 00:53:15,443
I'm all right, actually.

873
00:53:15,527 --> 00:53:17,779
Is there something wrong
with your favorite cake now?

874
00:53:17,863 --> 00:53:19,614
No. I'm just not hungry.

875
00:53:20,824 --> 00:53:24,369
There's always something, isn't there?
Like, you're hungry, you're not hungry.

876
00:53:24,452 --> 00:53:28,415
You're tired, you're overexcited.
You've got a tummy ache.

877
00:53:29,249 --> 00:53:31,877
Gosh, you're so tiresome, Katarina.

878
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,045
Marta, it's "Kate."

879
00:53:34,129 --> 00:53:35,439
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

880
00:53:35,463 --> 00:53:38,174
- You taught her this terrible word?
- Of course not.

881
00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:40,302
Do you even know
what <i>nabijem te na kurac</i> means?

882
00:53:40,385 --> 00:53:41,469
Yeah, I actually do.

883
00:53:41,553 --> 00:53:43,930
It means, "I will nail you to my dick."

884
00:53:44,014 --> 00:53:46,057
- Yeah, I knew that.
- Not "dick." "Penis."

885
00:53:46,141 --> 00:53:48,059
Well, "dick" means "penis."

886
00:53:48,143 --> 00:53:50,478
- Dick means penis?
- Dick means penis.

887
00:53:50,562 --> 00:53:52,939
- No, Dick is our neighbor.
- It also means penis.

888
00:53:53,607 --> 00:53:55,191
Dick, our neighbor, is called penis?

889
00:53:55,275 --> 00:53:56,693
Dick is penis. Penis is dick.

890
00:53:56,776 --> 00:53:58,671
- That's the same word.
- Would you stop saying dick and penis?

891
00:53:58,695 --> 00:54:00,631
- Just-- I'm trying to explain.
- Whatever, you know?

892
00:54:00,655 --> 00:54:03,825
- I'm just so bored of your shit.
- Marta, stop. She's ill.

893
00:54:03,909 --> 00:54:06,786
- She's not ill anymore, Mum.
- She is not ill anymore, Petra.

894
00:54:06,870 --> 00:54:09,289
And what you know?
What you know anything about this family?

895
00:54:09,372 --> 00:54:11,833
- You're never here.
- I'm not ill anymore, all right?

896
00:54:11,917 --> 00:54:14,836
She is still ill. Why is she still working
in silly Christmas shop

897
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,339
when she was always the bright one?

898
00:54:18,715 --> 00:54:19,758
Shh.

899
00:54:20,216 --> 00:54:21,426
You are very hard worker.

900
00:54:21,509 --> 00:54:26,181
Wha-- Oh, right, yeah. Well, apparently,
with my pathetic, inferior little brain.

901
00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:30,143
Now she's wasting her life,
which only a miracle save her.

902
00:54:30,226 --> 00:54:33,355
- Wasting my life. Thanks, Mum.
- And you have job you dream of.

903
00:54:33,438 --> 00:54:36,399
Yeah, except that I didn't dream of it,
did I? You did.

904
00:54:36,483 --> 00:54:38,652
Dad can't be a lawyer here,
so I had to be,

905
00:54:38,735 --> 00:54:41,112
no matter what I might have
actually wanted to do.

906
00:54:41,196 --> 00:54:42,656
Would you rather drive minicab?

907
00:54:42,739 --> 00:54:45,992
Look what it done to him.
He look thousand years old.

908
00:54:46,076 --> 00:54:47,744
Oh, thanks.

909
00:54:47,827 --> 00:54:50,139
And you, you sit there
and you think it's absolutely acceptable

910
00:54:50,163 --> 00:54:51,390
to say that she's cleverer than me,

911
00:54:51,414 --> 00:54:53,559
and I'm expected to swallow it
just because she's been ill.

912
00:54:53,583 --> 00:54:54,834
Marta, calm down.

913
00:54:54,918 --> 00:54:57,462
Don't you dare tell me to calm down,
all right?

914
00:54:57,545 --> 00:55:00,048
- Marta--
- You don't care about anything,

915
00:55:00,131 --> 00:55:02,592
Katarina, or Kate,
or whatever your name is now,

916
00:55:02,676 --> 00:55:04,219
because you're ashamed of who you are.

917
00:55:04,302 --> 00:55:06,096
Oh, I'm ashamed of who I am?

918
00:55:06,179 --> 00:55:08,723
What about you? Where's Alba?

919
00:55:09,557 --> 00:55:10,558
Shut up.

920
00:55:10,642 --> 00:55:13,478
On your big celebration dinner,
where is your girlfriend?

921
00:55:14,688 --> 00:55:18,024
Alba? Alba is-- Alba is Marta's flatmate.

922
00:55:18,108 --> 00:55:21,611
And that's how it's always gonna be.
I bet she's really happy about that.

923
00:55:22,988 --> 00:55:24,531
What she say?

924
00:55:26,408 --> 00:55:27,867
God, you're a piece of work.

925
00:55:31,788 --> 00:55:32,831
Marta.

926
00:55:33,623 --> 00:55:35,000
- Marta.
- Marta.

927
00:55:36,918 --> 00:55:37,919
Eh...

928
00:55:39,045 --> 00:55:40,922
Eat. You look like skeleton.

929
00:55:43,925 --> 00:55:45,176
I got to go.

930
00:55:46,678 --> 00:55:47,721
Good-bye, Mum.

931
00:55:52,308 --> 00:55:54,102
I will nail you to my dick.

932
00:56:44,819 --> 00:56:47,989
- Hey. What're you doing out so late?
- Where have you been?

933
00:56:48,073 --> 00:56:49,741
- What's up?
- "What's up?"

934
00:56:49,824 --> 00:56:51,618
Me not being able
to find you is what's up.

935
00:56:51,701 --> 00:56:54,412
You just-- You've been disappearing
for days on end.

936
00:56:54,496 --> 00:56:56,706
- Two days.
- And I've been trying to find you.

937
00:56:56,790 --> 00:57:00,543
So take your stupid phone out of
your cupboard and contact me. 'Cause--

938
00:57:01,336 --> 00:57:05,965
Because I've just been really stupid.
I've been really, really stupid.

939
00:57:06,674 --> 00:57:09,385
It's a bit of a stretch,
but have you had a couple drinks?

940
00:57:09,469 --> 00:57:12,639
Oh, bugger off
with your cleanly manliness, all right?

941
00:57:12,722 --> 00:57:15,308
Just go back to work. Leave me alone.

942
00:57:15,391 --> 00:57:17,811
No, I've just come back
from helping the needy.

943
00:57:17,894 --> 00:57:18,937
Great.

944
00:57:19,020 --> 00:57:22,816
You know, just a bit of psych work.
I work with the severely distressed.

945
00:57:22,899 --> 00:57:24,984
- When they get off on one.
- Oh.

946
00:57:25,068 --> 00:57:28,029
In fact, you're severely distressed
and have just gone off on one,

947
00:57:28,113 --> 00:57:30,073
so I'm glad
that we bumped into each other.

948
00:57:33,201 --> 00:57:35,495
Shall we go get my phone
from that cupboard?

949
00:57:37,372 --> 00:57:38,665
Okay.

950
00:57:42,085 --> 00:57:43,378
Let's go.

951
00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:45,088
Where are you taking me?

952
00:57:46,965 --> 00:57:48,007
Home.

953
00:57:57,517 --> 00:57:58,935
- It's down here.
- Yeah.

954
00:58:22,750 --> 00:58:24,002
Come on in.

955
00:58:31,634 --> 00:58:34,053
Oh, wow. You weren't kidding.

956
00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:36,097
Place is so tidy.

957
00:58:36,181 --> 00:58:38,099
- Come take a seat.
- No. I can't.

958
00:58:38,183 --> 00:58:40,226
I'll crease something
or just spontaneously wee.

959
00:58:40,310 --> 00:58:42,979
I'm gonna sit on the floor.

960
00:58:43,897 --> 00:58:45,023
There's plenty of seats.

961
00:58:47,233 --> 00:58:48,276
Nice landing.

962
00:58:50,945 --> 00:58:52,197
You're not yourself.

963
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,656
No?

964
00:58:53,740 --> 00:58:54,991
Maybe I'm wrong.

965
00:58:55,074 --> 00:58:56,701
Wrong about what?

966
00:58:56,784 --> 00:58:59,245
Maybe this is more you than anything.

967
00:59:05,835 --> 00:59:07,086
I'm a mess.

968
00:59:08,671 --> 00:59:09,714
Kind of.

969
00:59:11,424 --> 00:59:12,550
In here.

970
00:59:19,307 --> 00:59:20,725
When I was ill...

971
00:59:22,435 --> 00:59:23,937
it was a heart thing.

972
00:59:25,688 --> 00:59:27,065
Right.

973
00:59:28,691 --> 00:59:30,318
I had a heart transplant.

974
00:59:30,401 --> 00:59:32,737
I don't tell people 'cause they get weird,

975
00:59:32,820 --> 00:59:34,822
but I don't think you'll get weird.

976
00:59:36,282 --> 00:59:37,325
No.

977
00:59:45,625 --> 00:59:46,793
Oh...

978
00:59:50,546 --> 00:59:51,881
Is this okay?

979
01:00:11,734 --> 01:00:14,654
They took out my heart.

980
01:00:16,572 --> 01:00:19,575
They took it and threw it away,

981
01:00:19,659 --> 01:00:22,662
and I--
and I don't know what they put back,

982
01:00:22,745 --> 01:00:25,206
but it felt weird

983
01:00:25,290 --> 01:00:27,375
and different and strange and--

984
01:00:27,959 --> 01:00:30,336
and like I'd lost my most special part.

985
01:00:33,506 --> 01:00:36,384
And they kept telling me
I was lucky to be alive.

986
01:00:37,427 --> 01:00:39,762
But I didn't feel alive.

987
01:00:39,846 --> 01:00:41,347
I just felt half dead.

988
01:00:53,318 --> 01:00:54,694
Come here.

989
01:01:02,076 --> 01:01:03,911
I was supposed to be special.

990
01:01:05,163 --> 01:01:06,789
I didn't ask to be, but...

991
01:01:07,707 --> 01:01:09,417
they made me feel special when I was ill,

992
01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:13,212
and then I was special when I nearly died
and had a transplant, but...

993
01:01:15,048 --> 01:01:18,551
then they just expected me to be normal
and get on with life.

994
01:01:19,635 --> 01:01:21,721
There's no such thing as normal.

995
01:01:21,804 --> 01:01:23,598
It's a stupid word.

996
01:01:23,681 --> 01:01:25,433
Does a lot of damage.

997
01:01:27,101 --> 01:01:28,519
Nothing feels right.

998
01:01:32,398 --> 01:01:35,735
You're the only person

999
01:01:35,818 --> 01:01:38,029
that makes me feel, like, I don't know...

1000
01:01:41,366 --> 01:01:42,533
solid.

1001
01:01:43,534 --> 01:01:46,079
Like I exist.

1002
01:01:49,040 --> 01:01:52,085
I'm a part-time cycle courier
who doesn't even have a phone.

1003
01:01:52,168 --> 01:01:53,544
I know.

1004
01:01:53,628 --> 01:01:55,254
It's pretty sad.

1005
01:01:56,464 --> 01:01:58,633
And I could sing before.

1006
01:01:58,716 --> 01:02:00,218
Turns out,

1007
01:02:00,301 --> 01:02:02,678
I can't do anything.

1008
01:02:05,306 --> 01:02:09,519
I think the whole being-special thing
is overrated.

1009
01:02:11,896 --> 01:02:15,483
I think just to be a human being is hard.

1010
01:02:15,566 --> 01:02:17,276
You know, really hard.

1011
01:02:17,944 --> 01:02:19,445
You seem to manage all right.

1012
01:02:20,279 --> 01:02:22,698
One thing someone said to me helped me.

1013
01:02:25,201 --> 01:02:28,121
"Every little action of the common day

1014
01:02:28,204 --> 01:02:30,665
makes or unmakes character."

1015
01:02:31,791 --> 01:02:36,254
It just means
that you're built of everything you do.

1016
01:02:38,131 --> 01:02:39,590
And that's okay.

1017
01:02:44,971 --> 01:02:46,389
Who am I?

1018
01:02:47,682 --> 01:02:49,016
I don't know.

1019
01:02:50,601 --> 01:02:53,688
What's all this "me" business anyway, hmm?

1020
01:02:53,771 --> 01:02:56,107
What's wrong with...

1021
01:02:56,190 --> 01:02:58,568
Not knowing, you know, being inconsistent?

1022
01:02:59,277 --> 01:03:01,154
Just uncertain.

1023
01:03:01,237 --> 01:03:02,989
Why do you have to be anything?

1024
01:03:09,287 --> 01:03:10,371
Tom?

1025
01:03:11,998 --> 01:03:13,082
Yeah?

1026
01:03:16,377 --> 01:03:17,879
Can we lie down?

1027
01:03:19,005 --> 01:03:20,423
Absolutely.

1028
01:03:21,883 --> 01:03:23,259
- Come on.
- Okay.

1029
01:03:23,342 --> 01:03:26,053
- Oh. Gently does it.
- Oh, my God.

1030
01:03:29,307 --> 01:03:31,142
- Jump in there.
- Oh, the bed.

1031
01:03:31,225 --> 01:03:32,560
In the bed there.

1032
01:03:33,853 --> 01:03:34,854
Bed!

1033
01:03:35,938 --> 01:03:37,273
What--

1034
01:03:38,691 --> 01:03:41,819
Tom, I said "we."

1035
01:03:42,487 --> 01:03:45,323
This is close enough for now.
We hardly know each other.

1036
01:03:45,406 --> 01:03:46,908
Wha-- Uh.

1037
01:03:47,867 --> 01:03:50,286
What do you mean? We ju--

1038
01:03:50,369 --> 01:03:53,998
I told you everything there is to know
about me. There is nothing more to know.

1039
01:03:54,081 --> 01:03:56,626
You've just poured out
some very heavy-duty stuff.

1040
01:03:56,709 --> 01:03:58,961
I think you should just sleep for a bit.

1041
01:04:00,296 --> 01:04:01,881
Sing me to sleep?

1042
01:04:01,964 --> 01:04:04,091
- Like your mum?
- No, no.

1043
01:04:04,175 --> 01:04:06,135
Oh, dear God, not like my mum.

1044
01:04:06,594 --> 01:04:08,304
I'm a terrible singer, really.

1045
01:04:08,387 --> 01:04:10,515
- Everyone can sing.
- Mm-mmm. Not me.

1046
01:04:14,101 --> 01:04:16,812
You sing. You're the singer.

1047
01:04:16,896 --> 01:04:18,648
If I sing a lullaby...

1048
01:04:20,107 --> 01:04:22,026
will you kiss me good night?

1049
01:05:31,929 --> 01:05:33,389
Go to sleep.

1050
01:05:33,472 --> 01:05:34,765
Mm.

1051
01:06:21,270 --> 01:06:23,898
- Can I get one of them?
- There you go.

1052
01:06:35,284 --> 01:06:38,454
<i>They called today</i>
<i>the Brexit Betrayal Rally.</i>

1053
01:06:38,537 --> 01:06:40,081
<i>- And UKIP said...</i>
- Mum?

1054
01:06:40,164 --> 01:06:42,208
- Mum?
- They hate us.

1055
01:06:42,291 --> 01:06:45,002
- You all right?
- They send us all back.

1056
01:06:50,007 --> 01:06:52,093
Hmm. You're early.

1057
01:06:52,176 --> 01:06:54,345
Don't tell me even your mother
kicked you out.

1058
01:06:54,428 --> 01:06:57,223
No, I'm just...
doing something for someone.

1059
01:06:57,306 --> 01:06:59,642
- How was your date?
- Really nice.

1060
01:06:59,725 --> 01:07:01,435
Are you really gonna call him Boy?

1061
01:07:01,519 --> 01:07:03,354
- He likes it.
- What does he do?

1062
01:07:03,437 --> 01:07:05,690
He's an expert on sauerkraut.

1063
01:07:05,773 --> 01:07:07,066
Mm, you're kidding.

1064
01:07:07,650 --> 01:07:08,901
I wish I were.

1065
01:07:08,984 --> 01:07:10,736
Now I must learn to love sauerkraut,

1066
01:07:10,820 --> 01:07:13,531
which will be hard
because I am not a sour person.

1067
01:07:14,156 --> 01:07:15,491
You'll do it for love.

1068
01:07:15,574 --> 01:07:17,743
Hey, there's a latte for you on the shelf.

1069
01:07:20,913 --> 01:07:22,873
What do you want?

1070
01:07:23,916 --> 01:07:24,917
Nothing.

1071
01:07:25,751 --> 01:07:26,752
Then why?

1072
01:07:26,836 --> 01:07:27,962
Uh...

1073
01:07:28,754 --> 01:07:30,256
'cause it's Monday.

1074
01:07:30,339 --> 01:07:31,799
Get to work.

1075
01:07:33,384 --> 01:07:34,385
Okay.

1076
01:07:56,699 --> 01:07:57,700
Okay.

1077
01:08:27,730 --> 01:08:28,981
What have we here then?

1078
01:08:34,653 --> 01:08:37,823
Uh, you know we could book you
for causing an obstruction?

1079
01:08:37,907 --> 01:08:39,366
Oh, all right now,

1080
01:08:39,450 --> 01:08:42,161
PC Trenchant Old Baggage, leave her alone.

1081
01:08:42,244 --> 01:08:44,004
I'm just saying
she's causing an obstruction.

1082
01:08:44,038 --> 01:08:45,748
Turn a blind eye.

1083
01:08:49,293 --> 01:08:51,170
That is quite the slippery slope.

1084
01:08:51,879 --> 01:08:54,340
What next, huh?
Turn a blind eye to robbery?

1085
01:08:54,423 --> 01:08:56,008
- Oh, come on, you.
- Arson?

1086
01:08:56,091 --> 01:08:57,468
- Come on, now.
- Murder?

1087
01:08:57,551 --> 01:09:00,054
You have been like this all day.

1088
01:09:27,206 --> 01:09:28,999
Yeah!

1089
01:09:33,379 --> 01:09:34,672
Oh.

1090
01:09:47,184 --> 01:09:51,105
£5.75, two euros and a Fox's Glacier Mint.

1091
01:09:51,188 --> 01:09:53,357
- Less than minimum wage then.
- Oi.

1092
01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:55,693
Yeah, I know it's not much.

1093
01:09:55,776 --> 01:09:58,362
No, that's an hour of pure heart and soul.

1094
01:09:59,029 --> 01:10:00,573
That's riches, that is.

1095
01:10:00,656 --> 01:10:02,241
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

1096
01:10:03,158 --> 01:10:04,952
So did you find your Tom, then?

1097
01:10:05,035 --> 01:10:06,161
Yeah.

1098
01:10:06,245 --> 01:10:08,247
Nice. Good for you.

1099
01:10:08,330 --> 01:10:09,540
Thank you.

1100
01:10:09,623 --> 01:10:12,209
I'm just gonna leave that right there.

1101
01:10:12,293 --> 01:10:13,878
Go nicely with your tea.

1102
01:10:14,920 --> 01:10:16,171
- See you soon.
- See you.

1103
01:10:16,255 --> 01:10:18,549
- See you later.
- Don't even know where that's been.

1104
01:10:18,632 --> 01:10:20,301
Dan, she doesn't have to help, you know.

1105
01:10:20,384 --> 01:10:23,929
Listen, I've seen more of these
little middle-class do-gooders

1106
01:10:24,013 --> 01:10:25,431
than you've had hot dinners, mate.

1107
01:10:25,514 --> 01:10:28,434
Dan, I can't take your attitude.
You're so negative.

1108
01:10:29,393 --> 01:10:31,103
Eat your mint.

1109
01:10:31,186 --> 01:10:33,439
So I didn't get that <i>Frozen</i> job.

1110
01:10:33,522 --> 01:10:35,065
You're fired.

1111
01:10:35,149 --> 01:10:37,109
It's funny.
I'm all right about it, actually.

1112
01:10:37,192 --> 01:10:40,863
I'm not sure how I feel about
the whole auditioning thing in general.

1113
01:10:40,946 --> 01:10:44,366
I'm not sure it's that good for me.
I might just give it a break.

1114
01:10:46,452 --> 01:10:48,495
- What's wrong with you?
- What?

1115
01:10:48,579 --> 01:10:50,623
That sounds like quite a healthy choice.

1116
01:10:50,706 --> 01:10:54,043
I haven't heard you make one of those
in a very long time.

1117
01:10:54,126 --> 01:10:57,087
Don't panic.
I will go out and get shit-faced later.

1118
01:11:01,258 --> 01:11:03,093
- You're rehired.
- Ooh.

1119
01:11:08,057 --> 01:11:09,308
Hello, Boy.

1120
01:11:14,355 --> 01:11:16,565
It is a fermented mini cabbage hedge.

1121
01:11:17,066 --> 01:11:18,067
Blimey.

1122
01:11:18,150 --> 01:11:21,320
Thank you. It's beautiful.

1123
01:11:21,403 --> 01:11:22,905
It was my grandmother's.

1124
01:11:23,530 --> 01:11:25,741
Oh, that's lovely. That's very nice.

1125
01:11:25,824 --> 01:11:27,785
Mm. Go away.

1126
01:12:03,821 --> 01:12:06,031
£27.35,

1127
01:12:06,115 --> 01:12:08,158
some sort of a weird token thing

1128
01:12:08,242 --> 01:12:09,827
and a Strepsil.

1129
01:12:10,452 --> 01:12:13,330
- It's coming along nicely.
- Yeah, that's 'cause of Arthur.

1130
01:12:13,414 --> 01:12:14,581
Bollocks it is.

1131
01:12:21,380 --> 01:12:23,608
Arthur, you do know
that you don't have to audition.

1132
01:12:23,632 --> 01:12:25,426
- I want to.
- But you're in.

1133
01:12:25,509 --> 01:12:27,428
They'll think I'm a dick if I don't.

1134
01:12:27,511 --> 01:12:28,822
- Fair enough.
- Fair enough. Yeah.

1135
01:13:00,252 --> 01:13:02,046
I could drop quite easily.

1136
01:13:02,129 --> 01:13:03,922
This is my floor show.

1137
01:13:18,020 --> 01:13:19,021
Thank you very much.

1138
01:13:24,777 --> 01:13:27,821
- So how's your Tom?
- Oh, well, I just wish I knew.

1139
01:13:27,905 --> 01:13:30,657
I haven't heard from him in days.
He's disappeared again.

1140
01:13:30,741 --> 01:13:32,451
It's a bit annoying, if I'm honest.

1141
01:13:32,534 --> 01:13:35,621
He seems to be disappearing a lot.
Is he a magician?

1142
01:13:35,704 --> 01:13:36,830
Well, you never know.

1143
01:13:37,456 --> 01:13:39,708
Probably just scared
of what he feels about you.

1144
01:13:39,792 --> 01:13:41,293
You know, blokes and that.

1145
01:13:41,835 --> 01:13:42,836
Yeah.

1146
01:13:44,171 --> 01:13:46,381
- Well--
<i>- Bon appétit.</i>

1147
01:13:46,465 --> 01:13:48,133
Boom. Thank you.

1148
01:13:48,217 --> 01:13:50,010
- See you soon, Kate.
- Bye.

1149
01:14:05,442 --> 01:14:07,152
- Hi.
- Hey.

1150
01:14:39,518 --> 01:14:40,602
Hi.

1151
01:14:43,021 --> 01:14:44,106
Hi.

1152
01:14:45,107 --> 01:14:46,316
How have you been?

1153
01:14:47,901 --> 01:14:49,319
Missing you.

1154
01:15:15,179 --> 01:15:19,016
Missing and kissing. It's almost like
we're having a relationship.

1155
01:15:25,022 --> 01:15:27,107
Kate, there's something
I've got to tell you.

1156
01:15:29,026 --> 01:15:30,903
Oh, God.

1157
01:15:30,986 --> 01:15:33,780
The "there's something
I've got to tell you" moment. Okay.

1158
01:15:33,864 --> 01:15:35,991
Okay, let's go through the list. Um...

1159
01:15:39,411 --> 01:15:41,121
You're gay?

1160
01:15:41,997 --> 01:15:43,498
- No, it's--
- Married?

1161
01:15:44,374 --> 01:15:46,710
- No, there's--
- Uh, you need space?

1162
01:15:48,045 --> 01:15:51,590
- You can't depend on me.
- I don't depend on you.

1163
01:15:51,673 --> 01:15:52,674
Kate.

1164
01:15:52,758 --> 01:15:55,052
Who said anything
about depending on anyone?

1165
01:15:55,135 --> 01:15:56,720
Listen, you said it yourself.

1166
01:15:56,803 --> 01:15:59,556
You've been having a tough time
after all the trauma and--

1167
01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:01,743
- Look, I'm just worried--
- Oh, so now it's my issue?

1168
01:16:01,767 --> 01:16:04,019
- No, you--
- Look, if this is about commitment,

1169
01:16:04,102 --> 01:16:06,939
then you just need to say it, because I--

1170
01:16:07,022 --> 01:16:09,650
I can't do this anymore.

1171
01:16:09,733 --> 01:16:11,276
I look for you.

1172
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:13,862
I look for you everywhere,
and you're never there.

1173
01:16:14,738 --> 01:16:17,074
And it makes me feel
really bad about myself.

1174
01:16:18,408 --> 01:16:22,913
And I'm finally getting better
and not feeling bad about myself.

1175
01:16:24,373 --> 01:16:26,166
I'm not gonna heal my heart...

1176
01:16:27,167 --> 01:16:30,545
and then give it to someone
who is going to break it.

1177
01:16:34,383 --> 01:16:36,260
- I won't.
- Kate--

1178
01:17:07,457 --> 01:17:09,897
Why don't you lot go back
to where you came from?

1179
01:17:10,544 --> 01:17:15,007
Yeah, you. Speak English,
or get out of my sodding country.

1180
01:17:15,590 --> 01:17:16,925
All of you!

1181
01:18:04,389 --> 01:18:06,683
- Hello.
- Hi. Alba?

1182
01:18:07,476 --> 01:18:09,102
- I'm Kate.
- Kate?

1183
01:18:09,186 --> 01:18:10,395
Katarina.

1184
01:18:11,897 --> 01:18:14,524
Yep. Just wondering if Marta was in.

1185
01:18:14,608 --> 01:18:16,193
She doesn't want to talk to you.

1186
01:18:16,902 --> 01:18:18,612
Yeah. Okay.

1187
01:18:19,237 --> 01:18:20,655
I understand. Uh...

1188
01:18:21,531 --> 01:18:23,742
Could you just tell her
that I'm very sorry?

1189
01:18:25,285 --> 01:18:27,537
That I will probably never stop
being sorry.

1190
01:18:28,330 --> 01:18:29,831
That I'm glad that she has you.

1191
01:18:31,500 --> 01:18:35,962
And I'm sorry that you and I never got
the chance to know each other.

1192
01:18:37,506 --> 01:18:39,591
- Wait.
- Oh, for God's sake.

1193
01:18:41,301 --> 01:18:44,846
- Hi. Look, I'm sorry about everything.
- Please don't come here uninvited again.

1194
01:18:46,556 --> 01:18:48,266
I wish Mum and Dad knew you were happy.

1195
01:18:48,350 --> 01:18:50,352
It's none of their business.

1196
01:18:51,436 --> 01:18:54,398
Saying sorry doesn't change everything.
You do understand that?

1197
01:18:56,525 --> 01:18:57,526
Yeah.

1198
01:19:11,581 --> 01:19:13,500
Oh, God. Hey.

1199
01:19:14,543 --> 01:19:15,752
Look--

1200
01:19:17,045 --> 01:19:19,339
We weren't so lucky, you and I.

1201
01:19:19,423 --> 01:19:22,551
Mum is a piece of work.
You're right about that.

1202
01:19:23,927 --> 01:19:26,763
But I guess maybe
we're all a bit damaged in this family.

1203
01:19:27,681 --> 01:19:30,308
And I do appreciate you stopping by.

1204
01:19:37,732 --> 01:19:38,733
One second.

1205
01:19:41,987 --> 01:19:42,988
Hey.

1206
01:19:43,989 --> 01:19:45,198
Hi.

1207
01:19:45,282 --> 01:19:48,660
I was just-- I was just wondering
if I could buy you a drink.

1208
01:19:48,743 --> 01:19:49,995
You look like you need another.

1209
01:19:54,541 --> 01:19:56,084
Actually, I don't.

1210
01:20:00,297 --> 01:20:01,590
I really don't.

1211
01:20:03,300 --> 01:20:04,759
Thank you though.

1212
01:20:26,448 --> 01:20:28,158
Thanks.

1213
01:20:28,241 --> 01:20:31,536
That is really nice. Mm.

1214
01:20:32,412 --> 01:20:33,538
Mm.

1215
01:20:34,372 --> 01:20:35,957
Was that physical intimacy?

1216
01:20:37,584 --> 01:20:39,169
That was minimal.

1217
01:20:40,128 --> 01:20:41,379
How's Boy?

1218
01:20:42,130 --> 01:20:44,132
Interesting. And weird.

1219
01:20:44,966 --> 01:20:47,135
I've never eaten
so much fermented cabbage.

1220
01:20:47,219 --> 01:20:51,014
Yuck. Have you had sex yet?

1221
01:20:52,849 --> 01:20:54,726
- No.
- Hmm. All right.

1222
01:20:54,809 --> 01:20:57,229
And have you had sex with Tom yet?

1223
01:20:57,312 --> 01:20:59,189
- No.
- So?

1224
01:20:59,272 --> 01:21:01,983
- No, it's never gonna happen.
- Why?

1225
01:21:02,734 --> 01:21:06,655
We-- He just won't commit because
he thinks I depend on him too much,

1226
01:21:06,738 --> 01:21:10,992
and he basically said that I had made
a career out of being a victim.

1227
01:21:11,826 --> 01:21:14,412
Hmm. I like this man.

1228
01:21:16,414 --> 01:21:19,584
<i>Let me see. "A very messy Christmas."</i>

1229
01:21:22,045 --> 01:21:23,213
Hi, Mum.

1230
01:21:31,429 --> 01:21:32,597
Ah, yeah.

1231
01:21:36,893 --> 01:21:38,937
They're not gonna send you back.

1232
01:21:39,688 --> 01:21:42,357
You live here. This is your home.

1233
01:21:43,024 --> 01:21:44,651
I know how it start.

1234
01:21:45,819 --> 01:21:47,404
They point a finger.

1235
01:21:48,196 --> 01:21:52,617
They say, "Those people,
they are reason your life is bad."

1236
01:21:53,326 --> 01:21:56,204
And people believe. They believe.

1237
01:21:56,288 --> 01:21:57,497
I know.

1238
01:22:05,380 --> 01:22:07,173
I blame the Poles.

1239
01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:09,801
Okay.

1240
01:22:13,722 --> 01:22:15,056
Okay.

1241
01:22:15,140 --> 01:22:17,142
Cup of tea?

1242
01:22:18,184 --> 01:22:21,062
Hmm? Nice cup of tea. Nice cup. Okay.

1243
01:22:48,590 --> 01:22:49,758
Cheers.

1244
01:23:21,581 --> 01:23:23,166
- Yeah?
- It'll do.

1245
01:23:24,793 --> 01:23:26,086
Sorry, mate.

1246
01:23:37,263 --> 01:23:39,140
Tell Rufus
this one's much harder to torch.

1247
01:23:40,308 --> 01:23:41,976
I nearly popped the baby out then.

1248
01:24:21,933 --> 01:24:23,518
Tom?

1249
01:24:24,686 --> 01:24:26,563
No, that one is down 30 thou.

1250
01:24:26,646 --> 01:24:28,565
- Yeah, it's a real turd of a flat.
- Tom?

1251
01:24:29,274 --> 01:24:32,902
Someone's here. Look, okay, bye.
Sorry. It's been a mad day.

1252
01:24:32,986 --> 01:24:35,488
I'm Andy. Sorry I'm so casual.

1253
01:24:35,572 --> 01:24:38,867
- Oh, that's okay.
- Are you Mrs. Challis?

1254
01:24:38,950 --> 01:24:41,578
- No. No, sorry.
- No, I didn't think you were.

1255
01:24:41,661 --> 01:24:43,663
No. Are you waiting for Tom?

1256
01:24:43,747 --> 01:24:45,707
Uh, I don't think so,
unless he's with you.

1257
01:24:45,790 --> 01:24:47,208
No, I just came to find him.

1258
01:24:47,292 --> 01:24:49,294
- Oh, he'll probably turn up.
- Right.

1259
01:24:49,377 --> 01:24:51,755
- So, shall we get started, then?
- Ooh, started on what?

1260
01:24:51,838 --> 01:24:53,631
Just taking a little look, huh?

1261
01:24:57,218 --> 01:24:59,471
Right. I've looked, and there it is.

1262
01:24:59,554 --> 01:25:01,598
Small but compact. It's neat.

1263
01:25:01,681 --> 01:25:04,184
- That's one of its selling points.
- It's for sale?

1264
01:25:04,267 --> 01:25:06,311
Oh, yeah.
Freehold, this one. Not for rental.

1265
01:25:06,394 --> 01:25:08,062
That's why he keeps it so tidy.

1266
01:25:08,146 --> 01:25:10,732
Oh, yeah.
There's no room for clutter here.

1267
01:25:10,815 --> 01:25:13,610
But there is plenty of storage space.

1268
01:25:13,693 --> 01:25:16,863
Voila. Ah. What have we got here?

1269
01:25:17,614 --> 01:25:19,073
Oh, my God.

1270
01:25:22,035 --> 01:25:24,996
Literally in the cupboard.
No wonder it died.

1271
01:25:25,079 --> 01:25:27,248
- I'll give it to him. Don't worry.
- Give it to who?

1272
01:25:27,332 --> 01:25:29,042
- Tom.
- Who's that then?

1273
01:25:29,584 --> 01:25:32,086
Tom, who lives here
but is selling the flat.

1274
01:25:32,170 --> 01:25:35,131
No. No one lives here.
It's been empty for months.

1275
01:25:35,215 --> 01:25:36,424
Maybe he was squatting.

1276
01:25:37,383 --> 01:25:39,177
What? Was there a squatter here?

1277
01:25:39,636 --> 01:25:41,596
- Oh, bloody hell!
- Um...

1278
01:25:41,679 --> 01:25:44,224
Excuse my language. It's typical, that is.

1279
01:25:44,307 --> 01:25:47,101
It's that probate stuff that stops us
from getting on with our jobs.

1280
01:25:47,185 --> 01:25:49,079
- "Probate"?
- Yeah. You know, when someone dies.

1281
01:25:49,103 --> 01:25:51,523
- It's a pain in the fundament.
- Who's died?

1282
01:25:51,606 --> 01:25:53,024
The previous owner.

1283
01:25:54,067 --> 01:25:56,820
- Who?
- Uh, someone Webster, I think.

1284
01:25:56,903 --> 01:25:59,405
Youngish bloke. Sad, really.

1285
01:25:59,489 --> 01:26:01,366
<i>It was last Christmas, by all accounts.</i>

1286
01:26:35,692 --> 01:26:37,861
<i>Madam. Hello.</i>

1287
01:26:39,571 --> 01:26:41,739
Madam? Are you all right?

1288
01:26:42,448 --> 01:26:43,491
Yeah.

1289
01:26:44,117 --> 01:26:46,244
You just sort of folded up.

1290
01:26:46,327 --> 01:26:48,621
- Are you really all right?
- Yeah.

1291
01:27:19,652 --> 01:27:20,653
Hi.

1292
01:27:46,304 --> 01:27:47,472
Oi!

1293
01:28:59,127 --> 01:29:00,670
Why can I feel you?

1294
01:29:04,215 --> 01:29:05,967
Because I'm a part of you.

1295
01:29:09,095 --> 01:29:10,847
Take care of my heart.

1296
01:29:12,265 --> 01:29:13,516
I promise.

1297
01:29:14,809 --> 01:29:17,145
It was always going to be yours
one way or another.

1298
01:30:46,150 --> 01:30:52,073
Come in here! Roll up!
Roll up, you shower of gobblers.

1299
01:30:52,156 --> 01:30:54,659
You, you load of tossers, in.

1300
01:30:54,742 --> 01:30:56,637
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dora, Dora, Dora.
- And you're a tosser too.

1301
01:30:56,661 --> 01:30:58,704
I'm loving the work.
Wrong vibe, though, yeah?

1302
01:30:58,788 --> 01:31:01,332
- You can't call the audience names.
- And you're a wanker.

1303
01:31:01,415 --> 01:31:03,126
Don't I know it, Dora.

1304
01:31:33,281 --> 01:31:34,490
Hi.

1305
01:31:34,574 --> 01:31:36,909
Hello, hello, hello.

1306
01:31:36,993 --> 01:31:41,164
Um, right. So, I knew the lighting
would be crap, so I brought my own.

1307
01:31:46,586 --> 01:31:50,131
Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.
All right, we've got lots to get through.

1308
01:31:50,214 --> 01:31:53,968
I just want to say a massive thank-you to
everyone who's put so much hard work in.

1309
01:31:54,051 --> 01:31:58,472
Mum, for making the most ginormous
<i>krempita</i> I think everyone enjoyed.

1310
01:32:02,476 --> 01:32:05,813
My mother, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you. Thank you.

1311
01:32:05,897 --> 01:32:07,440
You're famous for your <i>krempita.</i>

1312
01:32:07,523 --> 01:32:12,069
I'd like to thank everyone individually,
but Dan said no speeches were allowed.

1313
01:32:12,153 --> 01:32:13,404
Yeah. Now, get off, Elf.

1314
01:32:13,487 --> 01:32:15,615
Yes. Thank you, Daniel.

1315
01:32:15,698 --> 01:32:17,617
Seconds away. I just, um--

1316
01:32:18,534 --> 01:32:20,203
I just want to say this one thing.

1317
01:32:20,745 --> 01:32:24,790
We are so lucky to be alive.

1318
01:32:25,416 --> 01:32:26,751
Hear, hear.

1319
01:32:27,919 --> 01:32:32,548
We are so lucky
to be able to help each other

1320
01:32:32,632 --> 01:32:35,593
in little ways and in big ways.

1321
01:32:36,260 --> 01:32:40,139
The reason we are lucky is because

1322
01:32:40,223 --> 01:32:43,476
helping each other is, in fact,

1323
01:32:43,559 --> 01:32:45,478
what makes us happy.

1324
01:32:45,561 --> 01:32:47,939
That's all.

1325
01:32:49,232 --> 01:32:51,025
Give us a song, Kate!

1326
01:32:51,108 --> 01:32:52,610
A song?

1327
01:32:54,237 --> 01:32:55,947
Yeah, I think I've got one up my sleeve.

1328
01:33:57,591 --> 01:34:00,011
- Do you recognize me?
- No!

1329
01:34:02,638 --> 01:34:04,307
Merry Christmas!

1330
01:35:11,832 --> 01:35:15,419
And now, on with the show!

1331
01:35:29,975 --> 01:35:31,685
Christmas tiramisu.

1332
01:35:33,979 --> 01:35:35,773
- Nice!
- Amazing!

1333
01:35:35,856 --> 01:35:38,984
- Thank you, Alba.
- Marta is so--

1334
01:35:39,068 --> 01:35:42,863
She is so lucky to have you, because she--

1335
01:35:42,947 --> 01:35:46,117
she is very, very

1336
01:35:46,200 --> 01:35:47,952
bad cook, very bad.

1337
01:35:48,035 --> 01:35:50,621
Mum, that isn't a compliment.
That's just rude.

1338
01:35:50,704 --> 01:35:53,124
What is rude? Why? Why is rude?

1339
01:35:53,207 --> 01:35:56,335
I am being nice to Alba, your girlfriend.

1340
01:35:57,086 --> 01:35:59,672
What I say? Nothing. Katarina.

1341
01:35:59,755 --> 01:36:02,133
- Yes.
- Before we eat lesbian pudding--

1342
01:36:02,216 --> 01:36:03,592
- Yep.
- Mum!

1343
01:36:03,676 --> 01:36:06,595
What? You have your song,
your big song in party.

1344
01:36:06,679 --> 01:36:09,098
- Yes.
- I know I not so important to do that.

1345
01:36:09,181 --> 01:36:10,641
Oh, Mum!

1346
01:36:10,724 --> 01:36:12,726
- Hey, you are. Yes, you are.
- I not.

1347
01:36:12,810 --> 01:36:16,814
- Tell her she is. Yeah.
- Now I sing an old song from Croatia,

1348
01:36:17,690 --> 01:36:20,651
from my grandmother, for my family.

1349
01:36:38,043 --> 01:36:41,630
Oh, come on, Petra.
The war is over long time ago.

1350
01:36:41,714 --> 01:36:44,216
Stop killing us with the song.

1351
01:36:44,300 --> 01:36:47,553
- Sing it cheerfully, for God's sake.
- What it's mean, "cheerfully"?

1352
01:36:47,636 --> 01:36:49,972
<i>Veselo.</i> It's Christmas!

1353
01:37:00,900 --> 01:37:01,901
Come on!